Natural remedies

What if this was more,
More than digging deeper,
As if each pore were a grave.
I’m tearing out my organs
Just to prove that I’m insane.

Vomiting my fears,
Letting wounds bleed,
Scratching off my scabs
And laying down in defeat.

Try to catch it,
Not to lose it.
Butterflies in the breeze,
Swarming like leaves.
Overwhelming, opaque.
It’s no mistake.
Dark blue clouds gather,
Threatening to smother.
I’m watching them scatter.
Each thought inflicted
Is rid, those beasts,
Released, unrestricted.

I sleep by a basin.
I’m sick all the time.
My immune system -nonexistent.
Still, I don’t slumber.
I purge and I wonder,
Why so empty inside?
These thoughts are like hunger
And still, I starve them.
Hunger without appetite,
Nausea without drive,
Swimming stomach
Sunken heart,
I’m drowning inside.
Still I wonder, why?
Despite my hardest trying,
I’m still so scared
And close to dying.

My body tries to run
Not with legs but with heart,
And I chase it,
from end back to start.
We’re going in circles again.
The faster I go, the faster I flee.
I should just stop.
Not jump the cliff or hit the brink
But stop
And calm.
Free the river from this dam,
Sit still and hold
Let this water flow
It drifts past -cold,
Dripping hair dries,
Shelter mightn’t last but
The sun will always rise.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r4hmol/i_didnt_lose_my_virginity/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r4hkzq/quiet/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf