Rivid's Guide To Finding A Dealer

By rule of thumb it is usually crass and distasteful to ask strangers online to hook you up with a contact (obligatory nice try DEA). Unfortunately due to the illegal state of marijuana, giving personal information over the internet in connection to purchasing marijuana is a good way to catch unwanted attention from police and internet weirdoes. In order to solve these problems, I thought it would be imperative to make a guide for finding a new dealer. Most of this information comes from my personal experiences, constructive criticism to this "guide" is welcome!

The number one problem with a lot of these threads being made is that the poster is being socially awkward. Neither myself, nor Reddit can help you with this. This guide is more or less about how to make friends with people who smoke pot. Ideally you want a “dealer” that will become a good friend, not because he’s got the hook-up, or just because smoking is the only thing you two have in common, but because you’re both chill ents. 90% of the “dealers” you will encounter just want to smoke for free and buy enough to part out to close friends. Someone who is dealing with harder drugs, or pills, is a gang-banger, or doesn’t like you for whatever reason has WAY MORE excuses to rip you off at some point. Grow some balls, and go outside.

Here are some tips:

• You should ALWAYS start looking for a new dealer before your stash runs out. Otherwise you’re gonna be in a Wendy’s parking lot at 9pm waiting for a friend of a friend to come through. George Carlin was right on when he said that when two guys are sitting alone somewhere in a parked car, you can be sure drugs are involved.

• Once again, think ahead. Network even when you have bud.

• Cops can legally lie to you, but they won’t smoke bud with you (see next paragraph). An informant will, but as long as you're not a big time dealer you should be fine. Someone will be a lot more willing to hook you up once you toke with them (if you’re paranoid, make sure they inhale). The laws regarding police conduct may be different where you live compared to where I live, I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. If you are paranoid about a police encounter check this out, or get a copy of one of Barry Cooper's DVDs.

I might be wrong in saying that undercover police cannot use drugs. Opn420 linked to a page on Erowid which cites 21 U.S.C. § 885(d) of the U.S. Code as saying "Police officers working undercover have exceptions from certain criminal laws. For instance, law enforcement officers directly engaged in the enforcement of controlled substance laws are exempt from laws surrounding the purchase, possession, sales or use of illegal substances." On the other hand, here is an article by former Texas police officer Barry cooper where he states that undercover cops were NEVER allowed to partake in illegal drugs on or off the job.

I am sure there are three things we can all agree on concerning this: (1) the chances of being busted buying a baggie of weed are slim, (2) police officers lie, (3) once arrested there is literally nothing you can say to the police that will help your situation until you speak with your lawyer.

• Use your fucking head! Don’t front a stranger money. Make sure you have a friend with you before wandering down any dark alleyways. If you live in a dangerous place consider only bringing enough money for whatever you’re going to buy (I tend to always do this as a general rule of thumb).

• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. At what point would you be ok hooking up that person in the mirror?

• Dealer etiquette varies from person to person. If you are thinking about posting a dealer etiquette thread consider just asking your dealer in person next time. That way you both know what to expect. If they’re your dealer, and you call to ask if you can visit or talk for a little bit; they will know what’s up.

• If you are going to smoke with your dealer, HE should be smoking you up for patronizing him. Although I would suggest throwing into any bowls you’re going to smoke after the first one.

There are some Internet resources you should check out. Going to Webehigh is a good first move. It might tell you where you can procure bud in your city, but it will also let you know how open or restrictive your area is concerning pot. You might want to check Norml’s website out as well and see if medical marijuana is an option that is available for you. Finally, there is Silkroad, which I would recommend as a last resort for marijuana. If you don’t get scammed, your package could be intercepted or stolen. An ounce of high grade weed is bulky, and REEKS compared to some LSD blotter.

Although I have never tried it, I have heard that people do have success with pizza guys. (It’s the perfect stoner job after all!) As mentioned before, you should consider inviting him in for a toke first. You could even be innocuous, answer the door with an unpacked bowl and see if they notice, be creative! Make sure to use your best judgment to safeguard yourself from assholes. Something else that has brought up is working in a kitchen as a dishwasher. I guess the idea here is that if your every day routine isn't getting you what you want, you need to break out of it and find some novelty/dank nugs.

Universities and colleges are good places too. If a nearby school has a SSDP, NORML chapter, or other drug reform group… go and hang out! DO NOT discuss trying to buy pot in their office. Go to some meetings, get to know everyone, and ask once some people step out for a cigarette or bowl. Even if your local Uni is an hour away, you should be checking these places out if you’re in high-school anyways!! Towny highschool students would hang out with us all the time and it was totally chill. There is usually a place on campus where stoners go to smoke; probably hills and fields where students chill on in the weekend. They are a cool place to relax with a book or frisbee. I should also mention that a lot of my stoner friends hang out or work in coffee shops, where it’s probably more acceptable to strike up conversations than other places (bonus points if you bring a Jack Herrer or Terrence Mckenna book with you).

I would say it is likely that any 18 to 20 year old that smokes cigarettes is going to smoke bud. If you are a smoker too, consider approaching them for a chat. Casually bring up that you’re new in town, and if they know anyone with bud. Keep in mind that when selling someone something this is considered the cold approach, and only works for a percentage of attempts. Anyone buying cigars (blunts) or Zigzags at a gas station is probably a toker. But would you follow up with anyone you met at a gas station?

Take a walk around the parks. They are a great place to hang out in general. Go for a walk and see if you catch a wiff of bud. Dusk or night time would work the best because young people tend to stay up late. Once again, be safe. Parties can work in your favor too. I would recommend NOT buying at the party though. Most dealers I have known cut the bags down to .8 or .7 either as a convenience charge or to take advantage of drunk people. You're better off just bullshitting with the people that are smoking.

Demographic factors are something you want to consider when approaching someone. Please note that I am NOT telling you to stick to your own race, or to socioeconomic class, or anything else obviously retarded. I am pointing out that age, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, and gender are things you should take into consideration. Don't hang out at a high school trying to pick up bud if you're a forty year old dude. tha_snazzle suggests asking any young white person with dreadlocks. I have had friends (both male and female) who had dreadlocks, and they were constantly jokingly asked about weed by strangers. However, I have a male German flatmate with dreadlocks, and if he does smoke, he's completely down low about it!

My last piece of advice is avoid false positives. When I ran cross-country in high-school, everyone had long hair and wore jam band t-shirts (most of these people were anti-drug). During a summer evening where a bunch of us were going to play D&D, some of us stepped outside to smoke a jay. A fellow cross country runner panicked, and literally ran away. We thought that he might of went to go get some authority figure but he came back saying he wanted to get away from "the drugs". He was wearing a Phish t-shirt.

As always, post any related stories!!

Edit1 - made spelling corrections, and expanded some sections.

Edit2 - Added Barry Cooper link.

Edit3 - Revised section on police.

Edit4 - Added dishwasher part.