a happy lie

"Are you depressed?"

Nah i- I'm not, I'm happy for a second, but then, like, well I'm not.

It's kind of pain, like, in waves, like I'm painting the walls as they cave.

A nice happy blue with a field and hills, some lies and even rose petals too, a beautiful sun with a blinding light as I lose my oxygen while fighting this fight.

I'm not depressed, or suicidal, just not as happy as before, I feel like no body wants me, on my 16th birthday nobody called.

They say were alone in this together but as I write this they're nowhere to be found, I'm going to keep punching away the pain, boxing round after round.

I think about my mother sometimes, damn I think she was right, she told me once after all I've been through I have to be broken.

I tried to block out that sentence but I'm reminded every night.

You ever want to stay forever in the ocean?

Feeling the currents how the waves motion?

Do you ever want to stay forever in your dreams?

To find out just how much your life really means?

~ sslw

Feedback

1. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r4r6os/youll_know_when_its_time/hmik3dk?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
2. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r4y4os/me/hmka8g9?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3