How did I get here

I went from having a crush on my best friend to loosing him to a girl we were both friends with because I didn't want anything physical to reconnecting with both and ending up with a crush on both. I'm poly and some kind of pan so for me this wouldn't be a problem but they both monogamous and straight so there's that 🥲💔 Like a part of me still wants to let them know and ask if they'd be open to try it but sheesh that's scary. I'm not interested in anything physical, I've got a pretty severe touch phobia but I just think they're neat 🥺❤❤❤