End of a journey?

I feel like a coward for using a throwaway but i am still not ready to admit that it happened. I have been running in circles avoiding the headlines in bold but i know that soon it will hit me like a cold wet fish.

We started dating 2 years ago, she lived in another city and her work(flight attendant) meant she was traveling all the time. For two years we never met, for me that was convenient, as i felt i wasn't ready to meet up with her which was my biggest mistake. I should have met her when i had the chance.

I am 27 years old, she is actually the first person i ever loved, and would have been the first woman i ever kissed, touched or anything else should it have happened (by now you should realize i am a 27 years old virgin). I am not ugly by any means, good looking, got a few extra pounds, have a successful job and loved by everyone i know. Everyone except women, i cannot work my way around them. A rape incident(s)? as a child that went unnoticed left me socially dysfunctional around women.

So to make this story short, she came and changed all that except we never met. Every time we planned on meeting, something would (mysteriously) happen to prevent it. I thought of it as buying me time to prepare myself to meet her as she was a very beautiful woman, (from what i have seen on Skype at least!) and she was also from an extremely rich family.

So other than feeling lesser than her all the time, i devoted my entire emotions and feelings to her, spent as much time as i can with her on the phone, skype, online etc. Against everyone's opinion i went on and pursued this relationship for two whole years. I was convinced i was in love, i don't know what i am right now.

3 days ago she sent me a text by mistake, she was supposed to be with her girl friends. The text was addressing a male with a context similar to this: "I must go i am very late, you stay if you want but i have to go home i will talk to you later. good night". You might ask me how i knew it was for a male, but we are Arabs, the text was Arabic, and it was addressing a male using the proper Arabic words.

When she realized what she did she sent a couple more texts to me trying to explain that it was for a girl friend, which further strengthened my doubts, she was over doing it. I didn't reply, she hasn't either.

I am devastated, have i been cheated on? If she really didn't love me, why did she spend two years saying it on a daily basis, for hours on end every day? She even helped me financially at one point , and i am talking a large sum of money. What was I? I am physically sick (recovering from extreme case of tonsillitis, just quit smoking) and overwhelmed at work. I didn't need this.

I don't know what to do... I don't want to contact her anymore, i want to get over her sooner than ever. I see her everywhere i look, I am starting to hate women because of her.

I won't deny it, the girl is a mental mind fuck, she has so many issues that makes my bipolar disorder a stupid headache in comparison. She has played me like a roller coaster but i kept denying the truth. I want to heal fast. I want to get over. I don't know why am i writing this, is it a rant? Maybe! I just don't know anything anymore!