Might have been too fast.

TL;DR: I was blindsided. To elaborate; This girl I was unsure about at first, became my girlfriend and then we broke up but we still seem to be intimate and now I am unsure if it is worth accepting the terms we talked about.

To begin with the story, about back in January I had just returned to my home university and it has been a year since I last had a relationship. So I was of course nervous around women, dating someone was one of the last things on my mind, but as I was moving back in I saw this tattooed princess outside smoking a cigarette. Intimidated by her appearance I kept on walking. A few days later I am leaving for class, and she is out in the lobby of my building and compliments my clothes. I see that she's drawing and make a little small talk about it before telling here I needed to get to class. A day later I find out she is in one of my classes. So we awkwardly began talking to each other, and weeks go on we walk together after class.

One night after class, I comment about my fingers being cold and she grabs my hand, we talk a bit more before I turn to her and look at her eyes. I kissed her then, we embarrassingly talked about how we were unsure of each-other's likes. A couple of days later I invite her up to my room to listen to music, we end up making out and in my bed. So pent up from the tension I asked her if she wanted to wait. She wanted to wait. A week later she's in my room and we end up in my bed again, wanting to have sex, I stop her and ask if she wanted more than just sex. She shot the question back to me, I said that I wanted more. She looked happy at my answer and agreed. Few days later we have sex again, after I ask her to stay the night she agrees. While cuddling she becomes cold, gets up and looks at me sheepishly, I ask her what she wants and she says "Nothing" and begins to start putting on her clothes. Somehow I convinced her to stay by asking if she always runs. She slept the night and agreed to a relationship with me. Two weeks go by everything is awesome and great, she turns to me and tells me she loves me. I could tell she was expecting it back, but I refrained because I wasn't so sure. She accepted my response, though she was cold to me a few days later.

Any way, I see her with guy friend and I got really jealous so I waited until she was alone and told her how I felt. I started to really fall for her at this point. I told her that I loved her back and she hugged me and kissed me and spent the day with me. However that weekend she just doesn't talk to me. I felt sheepish by texting her and asking how she was. The week then we're back to normal, with a little hiccups.

We spend a lot of time together at this point.Wanting to get her to talk about her self, I begin to push her to open up to me. It is at this point she starts pushing back (I realize now I was being selfish), ignoring me and drinking with one of her friends. Generally she never really acknowledged me in the presence of her friends, though I made a point to. Being a tolerable person I accept that she may not be ready for my surfacing co-dependent tendencies (The reason I hadn't had a relationship for a year was because I was very dependent, very clingy to almost smothering. Handled the break-up really badly.) due to her confessed love. Before I was trying to keep my own frame of being aloof and casual, but then I lost it. So now when I see her I spend a lot of time showing my affection with emotional physicality, of course it does lead to sex. I just really like post-coital cuddling and falling asleep with a woman in the bed. She became distant a couple of days before spring break, her reasoning was because I had asked her to drive me to a dental appointment, bu the night before I saw her drinking with her friend. I didn't want to bother her by still asking for a ride if she was hung over. Get got upset when I texted her I was talking the bus after she texted telling em she was at the store shopping. She said she felt "worthless" because I rode the bus. Before she started drinking, we were supposed to do something that night, I got sidetracked with schoolwork. What I didn't tell her was that I had planned to go sledding with her and my friends.

So spring break we reconciled, have sex once, then after two nights of promises of spending time together, I walk up to her room in the morning and she comes out. Immediately I notice a hickey on her neck. She fooled around the night she promised to spend time with me. I was angry and decided I needed to speak with her about breaking up. We talk, I tell her my feelings about her guy friends and her distance with openness. She tells me that she doesn't like the fact that I try to get her to open up to me, and the fact that we may have moved too fast by her pushing me. After staring and embracing she leaves my room. Infuriated with the guy she made out with I decided to go have a "talk" with him, but he was not there, so I ripped his door decorations. At this time she walks by. Embarrassed I walk back to the elevators, but it takes too long that she comes around. I get in with her and decide to follow her down. I went outside with her to offer a choice of starting over, she asks me if I had eaten. We have breakfast and she asks me to her room. We watch a show as her roommate was leaving. After her roommate leaves, she asks why I put up with her "bullshit" and asked if it was sex. I told her no, and why I like her. We go back to watching a show, but she starts positioning herself in a sexual way. I ask her if she was sure, so we end up having sex, but she stops in the middle of it. I go to kiss her, she backs up and stares with certain contempt "Yeah... it is just sex." Falls back on the bed and starts crying. "Its best if you leave," hurt and confused I repeat "its not! no it is not" and reluctantly leave. We don't talk until five days a go. She apologizes for being a bitch. I had her a letter I wrote explaining my feelings for her along with a drawing. Remorseful she tries to invite me up, but I was still raw so I said nothing.

The next day she's hanging out with her drinking friend, I am busying myself with a paper until I get tired of it and find myself up in her room. We all end up getting really drunk. At some point I kiss her and she looks at me with want. But she kicks me out at the end of the night. Pissed I go to bed angry. The next day I am doing homework and classes. When I got back I went up to her room to see if she was doing anything. We end up spending the night, but she's only responds to me when she wants. I explained that I missed her, still love her. She asked me what I require in a relationship. I tell her companionship and of course physicality. She tells me that since she hasn't had many relationships that she's unable to open in the way I would like her to, she doesn't know how to express herself emotionally, and that she's going to be who she is. I told her that I accept her for who she is as long as she accepts me. We agree and fall asleep on her bed.

Now I don't know... I'm giving her space... I am really confused. I am thinking that this is a lost cause, but this one has thrown me for a loop and I don't want to let go completely. I guess I am a masochist.