Last night really difficult, lots of shame into Day 5.

I have a habit of waking up in the middle of the night often. I usually spend it meditating or sometimes watching light TV shows (like Conan or Futurama). After an hour or so I go back to sleep.

I woke up, with a hard on at 3:00am. Was okay though. I flipped on the TV, and all the commercials are hot women and it causes my brain to just freak out. I instantly get super hard and my dick starts glowing with pleasure and I'm not even touching it. I go crazy for a moment considering going for it (for just a few strokes my brain tells me). NO! I hit fast forward on the remote.. ahh back into Futurama.

I battle the cleavage shots every commercial for about a half hour, then once the show was over, I powered off and the strangeness occurred. I fell asleep.

After sleeping for some time, I wake up. I am super hard again, and this time I can't think, so I grab it and start masturbating. I ejaculate and have incredible shame wash over me. Then, I really wake up.

I dreamed that I woke up, masturbated, then felt incredible shame then woke up for real and realized the waking up and masturbating was all a dream.

I did this 5 times. It was quite disturbing, to keep thinking I failed, then to realized I haven't failed. All the while very horny.

When I finally woke up in the morning at 9:00am, I wasn't hard and wasn't horny. I got up and went into the kitchen to make breakfast like any other morning and all is okay.

That was a really crazy intense experience. I know this lack of PM is doing some serious things to my brain if this is my reaction after 5 days. Note I've had sex a twice in the last week so it's not no O's for me.