18 year old female and I can’t stop obsessing over my first crush from when I was 14 years old. Really sad, I know I know...

I’m a 18 year old female and I can’t stop obsessing over my first crush from when I was 14 years old. Really sad, I know I know...

We live in the same neighborhood and were together in school from ages 6 to 16 and always in the same class together (really small school). When we were 14 he asked me to go to prom with him, not in person, but over MSN. When he asked me I was shocked because first I’ve never had anyone show interest in me before and second I’d never seen any sings that he liked me (we almost never talked). Me being the STUPID STUPID 14 year old, I rejected him. I realize now that it was the biggest mistake of my life.

Half a year later I realize that I actually like him and literally the next day he made out with a girl at some party and they start dating. That didn’t last long but I still hadn’t made a move or talked to him. I guess I just thought that he was over me and I didn’t bother trying.

Fast forward to now: We go to different upper-secondary schools (I live in europe, upper-secondary school is school from ages 16 to 20), he has a girlfriend that he has been dating since last summer, I’m still a virgin and obsessing over him. I just can not stop thinking of him. Maybe a month passes by when I hadn’t been thinking about him and then BAM I see him at work and we say ‘hey how are you’, ‘how’s school?’ and ‘bye bye, see you around’. I still get butterflies in my stomach and my heartrate increases and I fucking hate it. I just can’t move on and I think maybe it’s because it’s nothing to move on from. Nothing happened and I always wonder what if? I knew at some point he liked me and I still hold on to that.

How the fuck do I move on and has anyone been in the same situation?

TL;DR: I still like my first crush from 4 years ago, he has a girlfriend now, I don't know what do do about it. It's taking over my life and I'm pretty sure my whole family and friends think I'm a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend and almost never talk about boys.