I am really consistent with oral, but not so much with my hands. Where should I start to improve?

I thoroughly enjoy going down on girls so that is the primary way I get the job done. I can make my partner come with hands only, but it takes way longer. With oral I can take less time getting her turned on (massage, kissing, etc.) and still make her come in 15-20 min.

With my hands I've only made it happen once after 20-25 minutes and that was after a 15 minute massage, lots of other stuff getting her relaxed and aroused. We have a 3 year old so times when we both have energy for good sex is at a premium.

One complicating factor is that she's been on SSRIs since about a year after our child was born. Those are known to make orgasms more difficult, and it was quite noticeable when she went on them. Also, she makes almost no noise until she is about to come, it's hard to tell if she is enjoying the very specific thing I am doing to her at any given instant and I find it kills the mood if I straight up ask her during the act.

The main reasons I want to get better with my hands are:

• So she can come while we have intercourse (no luck with penetration only orgasms)

• Because I enjoy a challenge