Degrees of illegitimacy of the State.

Obviously like the rest of you, I believe that the State is illegitimate and immoral. However once I possess that belief, is there any way to concretely prove that some are worse than others?

When I saw Muammar Qaddafi being dragged through the streets on television, the only thing I thought was 'sic semper tyrannis'. However I would definitely not feel the same way if that happened to President Obama, even though both Libya and the United States are states, which I am against.

What I am trying to ask is once you believe that government in general is wrong, how do you quantify how evil or oppressive it is? How do I become offended by particular injustices perpetrated by governments if I don't believe in government at all? When I see news about protesters being killed in Yemen, I think "It's a state, what do you expect"? even though if Yemen stopped murdering innocent people, it would be a better place, and that there are states that don't massacre protesters.

How do I reconcile the shades of gray of government oppression with the black and white violence of the state?