This might be the hardest breakup ever, but I think it's for the best... :(

Hi redditors,

Now I need advice on how to break up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.

I love him dearly. When times are good, times are incredible. When we see each other in person, everything is almost perfect. But when we're in long distance, he puts me on an emotional roller coaster.

He goes through these "hot" and "cool" periods unannounced. One week he'd talk to me every single day, several times a day. The next week he'd pretend I don't exist with zero explanation. I've spoken to him several times about it, he changes for a few days, and then goes back to his normal behaviour.

Why break up? Let me count the ways....

1. He says he loves me whenever we talk but he doesn't act like someone who loves me. He doesn't make sacrifices to talk to me. He used to live for our "sexual" encounters via skype, now he never wants to anymore. It seems like whether we talk or not, he totally doesn't care.

2. He retreats when he knows I'm going through a hard time, and avoids talking to me. When I ask him why he does this he used to come up with all sorts of excuses but the pattern was obvious. Eventually he said that it frustrates him when I go through problem so far away because there's nothing he could do about them. I told him he could just be "there" for me but he says it's too difficult on him due to the distance.

3. He doesn't cherish me. He takes me completely for granted. He acts totally indifferent about our dating.

4. He doesn't make me a priority in his life. I'm the lowest priority, underneath school, friends, fraternity stuff, even videogames. I don't understand how someone could love me so much but place me in such a way. Oddly enough, when we're together in person, he puts everything else aside for me (he invites me to hang with his friends, and we have fun, and he plays videogames, yeah, but a lot less. And he's so eager to take me places and introduce me to people. This is completely contrary to when we're distant).

5. He puts zero effort into our relationship. He doesn't even TRY to fix our communication problems unless I pretty much push him against a wall (call his cell because he's never on skype).

6. So basically, he keeps himself at an emotional distance from me, and this tortures me a lot. My friends all speak to their SOs at least once a day, especially the LDRs. I feel like my bf is not being fair to me. I'm not getting a fair deal.

The problem is, I love him, and he SAYS he loves me (but doesn't act it when we're apart). I love his personality and we get along very well when we're together. He claims he's distant because we have our whole lives to spend together, he only goes through college/frat life for a brief period of time so he wants to make the most of it. This makes no sense to me. If he loved me he'd yearn to see me and talk to me, even on skype.

Should I actually break up with him? I've had this talk so many times but he denies all these things and doesn't change for the long-term. I don't even think he TRIES to be a good boyfriend. He has so much free time during the day (he only has 2-3 hours of class a day each day of the week). I know his coursework has gotten a bit stressful, but if he loved me, he wouldn't throw me by the wayside like that.... would he?

So my intention is to fly down after the end of my semester and break up with him in person because I don't want to harm his performance. Actually part of me does, because he's been treating me like crap this semester. Crap meaning not important to him at all.

I love him very much, we have a lot of chemistry when we're together in person, so I feel I'm going to go through lots of periods of regret if I do this, and wonder "what could've been." We even talked marriage at one point a few months ago....

tl;dr I love my boyfriend very much but he never makes efforts and doesn't give any time for me. He takes me completely for granted. I don't think I deserve this treatment. I also know that this kind of love is extremely rare. Our chemistry is amazing, and in person our problems don't exist. I've spoken about it with him before and he gets really pissed and defensive but changes for a bit and then goes back to his usual indifferent self. He just stopped trying, essentially. Should I break up? If so, how?