[HM] Beth on Krack

"Hello, everyone, it's ya girl, Elizabeth Kraken, and I have a message for all you krackheads out there; this will be the last video upload for my channel, Beth on Krack. To be honest, I'm saddened by the fact that I'm closing down my channel, but the negative comments became too much for me. I get that; I'm not a really great video game player, and when I do playthroughs, people get annoyed because I lose almost immediately. People don't enjoy reaction videos of endangered Amazon rainforest plant flora; that's not exciting content. And, yes, I'd like to apologize once more for my new sponsor, New Life; I had no idea it was a cult when I signed a 50-year contract, and I still have to advertise the promotion: use the code word krack to get 50% off your first decade. We're all hoping and praying that Meredith Connors, of Normal, Illinois, returns home soon. Finally, I don't think I'm very good at this, so I've chosen to quit to pursue a career in magazine subscription telemarketing. Goodbye and good luck to everyone."

Elizabeth completes her live stream and clicks the post button, uploading the video to her channel. A chapter in her life has come to an end, and she is ready to move on.

Elizabeth receives a box in the mail a few weeks later; it has strange pony express type postage and appears to be from a foreign country. When she opens the package, she finds a rolled-up sheet of paper with the following on it:

"Dear Sir, I'm writing to you from the People's Republic of Bermuda, not the island of Bermuda, but the landlocked country on the border with Iraq and Syria. Our country is ruled by General Bludlust-Goldstein, a ruthless dictator. He keeps citizens in work camps and restricts access to all media, including movies, television, and the internet. Beth does Krack, on the other hand, is one of his favorite streams. It's the only show he allows to be aired in the country. I beg you; please make new videos; since you've been off the air, the dictator has become irritated and now demands that we work 22 hours a day instead of our usual 18. Your content will make our tyrant extremely happy; thank you for taking the time to read this. We hope to resume our normal 18-hour workday in the near future, Sahib."

Elizabeth was taken aback when she discovered she had fans in another country. It reminded her of an episode of Full House in which Jesse Katsopolis wrote a song that was only popular in Japan. She had a fantasy that one day she would be recognized for her one-of-a-kind talent. Elizabeth started thinking about creating new content, but first, she wanted to visit the People's Republic of Bermuda and meet her fans.

She was astonished to discover that she couldn't book a direct flight there but instead had to fly to Istanbul, take a 22-hour bus ride to the Syrian border, a 10-hour camel ride across the desert, and then travel for two hours in the trunk of a 20-year-old Honda Civic down a bumpy road. When she arrived, she was met by a procession of military weapons, the dictator himself, surrounded by many enslaved citizens, and a small potted cactus.

"Welcome to the People's Republic of Bermuda; you bring joy to many here; we are all Krackheads!" The General says as she gets out of the trunk of the 20-year-old Honda Civic.

"Hello, my fans; I am delighted to be here with you. I have a major announcement: I'm going to start creating content again. I'm going back on Krack!" Elizabeth says.

"To commemorate this excellent news, we will hold a state dinner! If you could perhaps join us at the Grand Palace, we will toast this magnificent announcement with a drink," the General says.

Elizabeth, elated with the news, hops back into the Honda Civic trunk and is driven to the Grand Palace. When she arrives, she discovers that the Grand Palace is nothing more than an old McDonald's that has been turned into a makeshift Capitol building.

Despite this, Elizabeth enjoys dinner with the general and is eager to help the residents in reducing their work hours. At the end of dinner, the General stands and motions to his guards.

"These guards will show you to your room for the night, the grand presidential suite. I hope you have appreciated our hospitality," the General says.

Elizabeth is led by the guards to what appears to be an old McDonald's men's restroom. When they open the door, they see a little cot sitting beneath the urinal. As Beth enters, disgusted by where she'll be staying, the guards shut the door and lock it from the outside.

The General pays her a visit a few hours later.

"You can't keep me in here, I'm a celebrity," Elizabeth says.

"Yes, you are the most famous person in the Democratic Republic of Bermuda, and this is where you live now. You'll be creating content 18 hours a day, and I'll personally watch every video before it goes up on the internet. If I detect any evidence that you are attempting to flee or communicate messages through your videos, you will never be allowed to leave the Democratic Republic of Bermuda again," the General says.

Elizabeth first refused to make any content, but when the General began withholding meals, she eventually caved.

Elizabeth began by remaking some of her previous videos. A makeup tutorial in which she accidentally does black face; a cooking tutorial in which she improperly cooks the meal, making her and those watching sick; and a travel vlog about the Democratic Republic of Bermuda, in which she was able to show the beautiful tents in which the citizens live, the cinematic bars on the windows of the work camps, and the wild dogs that roamed the streets, waiting for her to collapse in the desert heat.

Elizabeth's enthusiasm for content creation was reignited after a few months of making videos. As she got into her stride, citizens of the Democratic Republic of Bermuda revolted and began a revolution against General Bludlust-Goldstein.

One afternoon as she was editing a video in the men's bathroom at McDonald's, someone was jimmying the lock on the door. Sahib, the leader of the citizen revolt and revolution, was standing there when it opened.

"Thank you for making videos over the last two months; you appeased the General so much that he fell into a false sense of security, allowing us to strike and begin a revolution," Sahib says.

"I'm glad you enjoy the videos; I'll keep doing them; this has truly been a life-changing experience," Elizabeth says.

"That's okay; you can stop making videos now," Sahib says.

"I don't mind at all; I think I'm really hitting my stride, and quality content is starting to come out of me," Elizabeth says readily.

"Stop making videos; you're lousy at it; we just hung your biggest fan in the playground outback. Seriously, you should consider doing anything else," Sahib says.

"Do you want to do a collab video?" Elizabeth asks as Sahib carefully closes the men's bathroom door, revealing the Grand Palace McDonald's burning to the ground.