First Christmas fully NC

This will be the first Christmas that I am fully no contact with my family. I had already cut contact with my parents, but still let my brother know I was alive as a courtesy. I recently had to go no contact with him as well when he decided to become my mother's flying monkey and try pry into my personal life.

The most difficult thing is that my gran is in her 90s and I know I won't see her again before she goes. If I were to contact her my parents would be on her to do the same as my brother. She and my grandad were the only ones that actually seemed to care for me and I'm really struggling to come to terms with the fact I won't see her again. My childhood Christmas memories are mostly of my grandparents so this time of year is really hard.

Idk I guess I'm just venting.