I am exhausted from all of the needless deaths from this pandemic. If I have to be concerned for one more day about an unvaccinated person dying then I am wasting spiritual energy that could be used on the vulnerable that are innocently suffering.

I’m exhausted from witnessing all of the needless deaths in our country from this pandemic. I’m so tired so I have decided to give all my concerns for any of those deaths straight to God. Why am I supposed to continue to care about people dying of consequences from their own choices? It feels like an abusive relationship for me to be concerned about the magnitude of our problems and watch 80 million people turn their backs on the rest of us. If a person chooses to be unvaccinated and they want me to accept this as a valid response to our liberty then why do they want me to be concerned about the consequences of their actions? Can someone please bridge these two concepts for me?…It’s like all the nurses having to experience this pandemic over-and-over-and-over-again while other citizens completely ignore nurses strain and suffering by choosing to be unvaccinated and then going to the hospital when they get too sick from Covid.

If an American citizen chooses to reject a life-saving vaccine they should not expect my compassion to be never-ending. And if they do expect my unconditional concern, I would ask them if they expect the same of themselves? “Yes”, you say, emphatically? The evidence of our country’s turmoil would not support that statement! If the unvaccinated wish to continue their uproar, over relating the vaccine to personal liberty, then they should not expect me to be a well that never runs dry. That’s the hallmark of an abusive relationship! What does Christ say about abusive relationships? In the name of Christ, I won’t accept this selfish, abusive relationship with the unvaccinated. When something is repeatedly happening and one side acts accordingly to protect themselves and their neighbors, and another side abjectly denies any responsibility for bringing this pandemic to an end, I am not going to be a spiritual martyr for them. I am repeatedly traumatized by the amount of neglect and death we bring onto each other in this country I was born in and have always cherished. At this point, I couldn’t care if you dropped dead in front of me. I would walk over your body and go to a vulnerable person that is innocently suffering.

I had someone the other day start a disagreement with me about my choice to vaccinate my son. He said, “Do you know how many children have died from this pandemic?” Do you know what my response was? “How many children need to die before you will follow the experts in disease and science?” I asked the same question of “people” in the year 2020…2021 is almost over. I’m done asking. I’m done arguing. If you don’t want to vaccinate, that is YOUR choice. But, hand on the Bible, don’t expect my concern when the unvaccinated are dying from Covid. Full stop.

If you think it is un-Christian of me to say this I would ask you- why don’t you feel this way about the unvaccinated? Clearly they have no remorse for the continued suffering they inflict on nurses and the greater society by taking no responsibility for ending this pandemic. Clearly they feel no remorse for the nurses that continue to chronically witness needless deaths. When does this abusive relationship end? How long until the unvaccinated not caring about millions of deaths, and people like myself being squeezed dry from all of our caring -at what point is there some sort of equitability in “caring”? At what point do people start taking responsibility for each other and protecting each other? And if I should never be expected to see others caring the way I care, then it’s a good idea for me to “break up” with that relationship so I’m not forcing myself to experience negative emotions day after day. And yes, concern is a negative emotion. Grief is a negative emotion. If my Christianity is never going to change your minds about getting vaccinated, It is not worth my continued stress. I see everyone afflicted by their own concerns as we draw further away from Christ’s teachings. Christ has other plans for me. He wants me to live in his power and feel the joy and peace I have in following him, so that is what I am doing by laying my exhausted soul at his feet and letting him take my hurt and grief about you. Stay safe out there without my concern for you. Go in peace.