I might be denied as foster parent. Is there anything I can do to help my case?

This has caused me to become hesitant to engage in activities in those spaces again.

That's mild agoraphobia. You're hesitant to do something that will not cause you issues anymore.

Why would my potential limitations be a blocker for us when I have a perfectly healthy husband?

Because your husband will not be the only one caring for the child. You will as well, so both of you come under the microscope.

I agree. I have mental health issues myself so sympathize with OP. But the fact she is self diagnosing, accusing her doctor of being unprofessional for putting a diagnosis on her she doesn’t like(despite showing signs of it in a few online comments), refuses to admit her condition, among many other things makes me think she’s nowhere nearly mentally stable enough to be fostering children.

Yes, any sort of diagnoses causes people to be concerned. It's annoying, especially when it comes to anxiety and depression, because so many people suffer from it and don't get treatment. It's annoying that those who seek treatment are perceived as less adequate than those who pretend nothing is wrong.

I am more than happy to talk with anyone who wishes to express their concerns. I feel it's important to be open and talk about these things so as to reduce the stigma. Unfortunately, in this situation, I am being talked about rather than talking with me.

I hope to be a resource for the parents. The entire situation is so stressful and I'd like to try to help ease some of that stress where I can. An important part of that will to not be judgmental against the parents, and to support bringing their family back together. We all have struggles. And we all have the ability to fix our struggles.

I am already volunteering. I go once a week to hang out with a group of at-risk kids. The experience is reaffirming my confidence in myself because the other volunteers are frazzled and say we have the worst group, where as I am fine. They want the kids to sit down and be quiet and do what they're told. But that's not what kids do 😆 I've been helping the other volunteers to see what behaviors demonstrate what needs a kid has and ways to satisfy those needs so they can focus better.

I applied last night. There was a lot of religious references. They wanted to know my religion, place of worship, and interview my religious and community leader. So, it could be a wash given I am so off the beaten path spiritually wise. But, I figure I'll give them a chance to see if they're tolerant enough.

I won't put up with any discrimination against kids, though. So that could potentially cause a problem.

lol. 'to never need resources to begin with...'

love every parent needs extensive resources, and most parents will experience disability of some kind while parenting at least temporarily. to say all of them are not as fit lmaooooo.

meanwhile able bodied adults who make the foster care system go round help perpetrate over medication against children in their care, and under appreciate what their kids are going through when they have their own limitations constantly .

check your ableism, it affects people's lives.

Not involved in foster care from the caregiver perspective but I used to live in a group home/residential environment with other foster kids who the state placed there.

I disagree with the idea that someone who has never struggled, has had a good easy life relative to others because of their good luck, and has never sought treatment for mental health automatically is going to make a better parent, especially for children who have been through the harsh conditions me and my friends have.

If you don't know what it's like, if you have never struggled, and you have never suffered, and you have never had the courage to ask for help... how could you POSSIBLY understand the depths of despair a child goes through in the foster care system, and coming from an abusive home? You really truly cannot.

As long as OP is a functional parent even on their worst days, the anxiety and mental health experience is actually probably a really good asset. I mean, would you rather have a caregiver that can't even define anxiety good, or a caregiver that knows exactly how it feels and what helps?

It's clear you didn't quite get my point.

Believing that a person who's been through psychotherapy can never compare to someone who hasn't is like believing a person who has had physical therapy can never compare to someone who hasn't. We are not immutable beings. We do not become permanently broken. And just like a person who has gone through physical therapy can end up being more fit than the average Joe, a person who has been through psychotherapy can end up more resilient than the average Joe.

I've been on the same medication plan for 10 years. I haven't needed therapy for years. I just continue it because I have the spare money and I find tremendous value in having someone call me out, point out my flaws, and help me to continually improve. Heck, even therapists have therapy to help them keep on track.

Everyone can benefit from therapy.

The fact I have been through therapy, continue to work on self improvement (it's a never ending journey), and plan to continue therapy while being a foster parent is actually a sign of the significant value I bring, not a sign of a problem. I have already examined myself and discovered more clearly my personal strengths and weaknesses and have worked to strengthen my weaknesses. I already have the tools and experience for managing troubling situations. I already have a support system to ensure I have support when needed right away. Bringing this with me is of significant more value than someone who has never examined themselves closely, has never learned tools for managing stressful situations, and who don't have a support system nor experience of how to build a support system to make sure something doesn't give way from new difficult experiences.

How much are you truly able to help a child and support their parents when you've never learned what it takes to overcome obstacles?

If you truly don't understand anything that I am talking about, I recommend that you read some books on psychology. The book "Why do I do that?" was a game changer for me, but I think there are more recent books out around the same approach that are better. Picking up a book on dialectical therapy is a good start to learning the details of emotions and their management.

The most important areas of doing "the work" is to be able to critically examine your flaws, and critically examine your values and impulses to discover what is truly important in life. People who have been in therapy do that. Unfortunately, woefully few people who have never had therapy or studied psychology or spirituality have done it. There is even a lot of cultural stigma against even admitting one's own flaws.

Yeah, my husband talked with me about their meeting. They asked him about my ability to go out and to go to court. He said it's fine.

It's frustrating because there is a massive difference between me not wanting to go out to dinner because I have menstrual cramps, and not being able to go somewhere important. There is a massive difference between "having pleasure to do" and "must do". I wish there was some way I could communicate my commitment and devotion. I've got friends ready to tell stories of me moving heaven and earth, but I don't know how to loop them in.

It seemed the conversation focused mainly on him. They discussed his ability to work from home, his flexible schedule, ability to respond to emergencies, etc. And yeah, he's great on all of that.

He could be a single father. He's got an awesome flexible job and built up tons of social capital giving him even more flexibility. He jokes around that he could disappear for a week and no one would notice. Actually... It happened recently. His father was hospitalized for two weeks and he just bailed on work to sit in the hospital with him the whole time. They didn't even dock his pay or use PTO.

I'm not sure what to do about the psychiatrist. I feel it would be weird to jump to someone else like that. Especially since they haven't specifically said "I have concerns because of your psychiatrist."