[2500] Caelum

Caelum, or as you may know it Mars, is the second planet in the known universe to bear life. Not because it began there, but because Earth was critically overpopulated and in desperation turned to machines. The Algorithm, the first and last quantum computer, rewrote the human genome and created Elysians.

Elysians established a beautiful society with radically new systems of economy, politics and education. Rich culture developed, whilst the home planet increasingly rejected the wisdom of machines and the enlightened Elysians

Elysians complete their education and graduate at 12; attending a ceremony where the Algorithm will tell them where their destiny lies. If they achieve their destiny, they will be given immortality.

Isaac, half Sapien half Elysian, wakes up and discovers he is one of the few chosen to lead Martian society: to be a member of the Council. He finds himself in the clutches of a rapidly deteriorating political relationship between two diverging worlds. Before he can settle in, War begins and the fate of humanity is thrust before him.

CAELUM is a timeless Science-Fiction story that exists between the pillars of Frank Herbert’s Dune, Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Series and Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. It is complete at xyz words and explores themes of purpose, politics, power and technology. I am previously published ... [x y z]. I live in London, England. When not writing, I am reading, when not reading I am dreaming.

So I am here because I'm not sure about my beginning. My temptation is to rewrite chapter 1/2, or to start at chapter 3... But I've had people I know to be great writers enjoy them, then get on to my favourite chapters etc. Maybe it's because I've reread them so many times myself... I don't know.

My main Q's: does it start in the right place, in your opinion? Do you think there's unnecessary expo in the first chapter? My aim is to write something fairly universal, absolutely clear and concise.

(rest is there, but first 2500 is the crit-exclusive)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12s96bN6OYVCaon4si9dEE1hiItOig3xN/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=117037944927823283242&rtpof=true&sd=true

Crit

4k https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/rft926/4068_song_of_herself/how1utb/