Every therapist drops me

I currently don't have a diagnosis yet because I'm going through assessment, and I have some bpd traits too. I've been to 3 different therapists, including trauma/emdr therapists, and at one point they all dropped me - said I didn't want to put an effort so they couldn't help and to call them again if I wanted to. I feel so broken and like no one can help me, I'm really trying hard but I dissociate every time I think of my parents and I don't remember anything of my childhood anyway. I don't understand why they have to send me away, for me is ok even just going to therapy to vent