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Posted Dec 22, 2021, 5:14 AM UTC
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I have no idea how you come up with that rhyme and flow
I wish I did too, haha. Sometimes it just pops in my head, and I wish I had a better explanation, because I want to be able to make this stuff up on spot. I was out on a walk and I thought the lines "Cupid aims. The angels sin" and I was like "that's pretty good... I should work with that". But as it is with many of my poems, when I get one line I never know how to continue it. I wish that could just be the poem, but I needed more content, and eventually my mind connected some dots and created this.
You're pretty spot on with your interpretation, I'm glad you could get that out of this poem. I was a bit worried about how it'd be interpreted. I was worried people would just see pretty words and be like "okay cool, next."
I've tweaked the last line to "It glides through the air, stabbing through my mind's heart and flies to you" to convey that Cupid had shot the dove in my head, but instead of it shooting me dead it flies through and to another person to hope I were with
Thanks for your comment I appreciate it!
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SO good. I love the mix of rhyme, then no rhyme, then near rhyme... and you've got some amazing single lines like "No more love, it's long been dead" and "Cupid's bow aims. The angels sin." really nice work.
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thank you!!
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This is exactly how I pictured poetry in my head before coming here, the structure, the flow of the words from line to line. Thank you :)
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no thank YOU haha!! appreciate the kind words
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nice one
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inebriating. don’t know if I’m saying some nonsense shit but I’ve spotted really good TVU and Stevie Nicks influences. keep going, will check on your material!
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Love your work, great writing
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I like the short and to the point factor. The idea of cupid is always a good subject also. I like the approach you took with it also. Everything was very well written. Keep it up!
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So good.
appreciate it!