[278] ALT 3015 : Section 87 Crisis, chapter 1 : Cat and Mouse

I'm begining to improve my writing a bit recently and this is my first try on seeking a critic and improvement on my works. Also, I'm aiming to improve my English fluency as well.

This is a part of story in another world and reality of our own setting in a fictional planet of Thrice, the birthplace of mortalkin. The event is occured in Section 87 where three prominent factions trying to obtain a secret weapon that possibly leads to an absolute global supremacy. The story here only contains the first chapter since I'm not sure if it's worth to continue the story.

The plot : it had been 3000 cycles after the fallen of the middle kingdom. Mortals had finally developed a way to extended their life. First by transfer themselves into another stronger vessel, and second by improving their existed vessel with Phyche technology. The mortal soon collapsed into three big faction aiming for a complete subjugation of others but stopped only by their own struggle from within and outside. Until cycle 3015, when the rumor of developing an ultimate weapon started to circulated around the globe, and soon every faction are going after what they believe that could unite the world under their banner once and for all.

Here is my critique on Aljis: Ruination, part 1

Here is my story, chapter 1