as a fellow non native speaker I applaud your determination to write! Keep writing, sharing, and honing your craft!

Thank you for your correction! Not a native speaker. And I'll have what you said in count.

I was a bit confused who the poem was about. I'm guessing you are writing about yourself, as in you are the shadow. Even if it's not the case, I think changing to the first person would make your piece much stronger. In the first line of the last stanza you should replace "that" with "those".

it reads well, but i was a bit confused on what the poem was about. i like your writing style but perhaps more clarity to the situation would help your readers appreciate the writing

Thank you!! You are very specific with your words

I really like this .. it’s edgy, angsty and layered.

I feel you really describe the complexity of someone feeling the burden of being alive when he feels there is not so much to live for

It feels like those two lines are the beginning of another poem to me, if that makes sense? Having said that I am a BIG time beginner at this so take my feedback with a pinch of salt! If you read the poem without those two lines it fit with my imagery but that's just my interpretation. Really like it!

I really liked your interpretation! About that lines, do you think that it could be wrote with other words but the same meaning? Do you have any suggestions? Or are you saying that they don't fit with the poem at all?

I don't know why but this gave me the imagery of a man alone in a cave trying to light a fire. I could almost smell the desperation of trying to get the fire to take - the line "his efforts turn to dust". Some bits didn't make sense to me (not that they have to!) But I wonder would it have a better flow without the "he did not choose..." lines .. they almost felt like they belonged in a different poem?


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A dark man,

a shadow

feeling wrecked

feeling haunted

&amp;#x200B;

He did not choose to be fed by others energy

he did not choose to be alive

trying to make some light

his efforts turn to dust

&amp;#x200B;

driven by those little sparks

which only a few times he was able to feel

surviving

waiting for his next chance

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rmy9e5/comment/hpqow3l/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rmy9e5/comment/hpqow3l/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rn5aaj/comment/hpqq8h7/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/rn5aaj/comment/hpqq8h7/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

The shadow