Christmas Trees (Dr. Seuss style) By Albert Chosenko
If you enjoy Christmas, And you celebrate it, You gift others presents And enjoy them for free, If you like the feeling Of late winter mornings, When you're reading a book Under lights of a tree,
Then in early December You get in your car, You drive to the store, You drive really far, When you finally get there, get out the car, You walk to the trees Leaving your door ajar.
You look at the trees, There's a lot here, there's many. We've got different sizes, They're all here, there's plenty.
There's tall ones, there's low ones, There's fat ones and thin ones, And if you don't like yours There's infinite refunds.
We've got different colors, They just cost a few dollars. Some are blue, some are red, Some are green, some are dead.
Some are orange, others brown, some are standing upside down. Some of them are plain dark, They are missing all their bark.
And we've got so much choices, You can even take courses, On how you can just see, Which is your perfect tree.
If you go on our site, You can buy our new book, You'll know which tree is right, From your very first look.
Our book has all the trees, You will find them with ease. We have offers like a tree, that can fit your chimney.
Most trees have just one stump. Ours have more than one bump. You can get one with two stumps, with four, even eight. Also install our app, to give us a rate.
And now this is not all, Oh no this is not. We've got trees different shapes, and they all do not rot.
We've got one shaped a circle And one is shaped a square. One tree is an umbrella, This one is a huge bear.
And now this is not all, oh no this is not. our trees can be cloned, we make one tree a lot.
If you like the shape of a tree that you got, we can clone one for you (just ask out tree bot).
On the topic of tree bots, (They're still trees) we got lots. Our trees can be computerized, Just don't break them (do not).
We have hologram trees, look the same, you can see. if you want "spot the difference" you can try, its for free.
Now if you owned trees, You know there's many spikes. they will sting if you squeeze, and do not get much likes.
Now the worst thing about them, is they fall to the floor. but you know we have fake trees, they get bought more and more.
And if you do not like trees, then get out of the store! I've been doing all this talking, and my mouth is now sore.
Otherwise you can stay. Look around the store. But now I have to go, I am tired to the core.
When the first time I came, I got my perfect tree, came home, set it down, and sat down with my tea.
My tree wasn't tall one, and it wasn't that short. It was not really rare, It was a common sort.
It was not different colors, It was just plain green. And the shape was a tree, (cause it wasn't a bean).
It was not electronic, and not a hologram. not a car not atomic, Its not fake (like i am).
My tree was the original. It was just plain tree. And you might want to get one too, like I got one for me.
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Posted Dec 31, 2021, 6:42 AM UTC · edited
This poem really brought me back to my childhood and perfectly exemplified the artistic nature of Dr. Seuss. The most reminiscent line was “there’s tall ones, low ones, there’s fat ones…” Hit a nostalgic spot!