Anyone up?
It's 03.35 I'm awake, alone and bored , as always.
Tell me your most terrible joke.
Posted Jan 1, 2022, 3:36 AM UTC
17103
Biggest joke was the BBC coverage of the fireworks/midnight.
15
Yes. Absolutely shocking.
3
What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?
Ones a large Australian animal and the other is a Geordie trapped in a lift!
15
Same, my friend!
I gotchu fam.
My friend almost got fired from the calendar factory. He kept taking days off.
12
Aha! I think I was given one of those last year, the overtime was awful.
2
When I was younger I used to work in a bank until I got fired. An older gentlemen came in and asked if I could check his balance for him. I obliged and pushed him over.
11
The formatting on that was terrible, many apologies!
3
Sorry, I don't find that funny... its something I would do.
2†
Which star wars character would you find in a clothes shop?
Mannequin Skywalker
10
Love it.
2
Before crowbars were invented, most crows drank at home.
7
My doctor says I might die because I got drunk and ate some clay.
I telling ya, I'm shitting bricks!
6
Can't sleep due to a horrendous cough (that somehow isn't Covid)
I wish cough medicine actually worked
1
Why are there no drugs in the jungle?
…Because the parrots-eat-em-all
5
Aw. That's cute.
1
Pulled this one out of my Christmas cracker and still haven't recovered from it
What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle
5
Your crackers must have been from waitrose.
I snorted hard at that. Thanks.
1
My sleeping pattern is so fucked. Back at work on Monday and I'm bracing for a disaster of a morning as I struggle to stay awake.
3
Oh, you asked for a joke. Okay.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
"Aye matey!"
14
How comes it’s so fucked?
1
The joke?
6
The sleeping pattern
2
I stayed up too late listening to BBC detective radio plays.
3
At work till 10 am. Got sick all over me and have no more spare uniforms. 😭
3
Seven dwarfs were feeling happy. Happy got up and left.
3
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk. Sorry, only dad jokes here.
2
Dad jokes are the sexiest. No, I meant best, 🤣
2
Ha ha, happy new year.
1
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
2
Whats the saddest thing about 2022?
People thinking it will be better than 2021
1
I have a great sense of humour.
Your post made me shrug because it's true. Hmm.
1
Heres another Dad joke….
Whats more depressing than the year 2022?
1
My face?
1
2023, 2024, 2025….
2
So I says to the tourist "what do you think of our Leaning Tower of Pisa?"
Tourist: leans to the side "looks ok to me!"
1
Sadly, I can imagine folk I know actually doing this 🤣
1
I took a break chowing down on 3 burgers
1
Cheese??
1
Nope, finished the third and 3 sides of fries. Full for 2022
1
Yup! Not for long though
1
three trams- first went left, second went right, third followed them.
1
I'm too drunk for this!!
1
isn't terrible lol
1
Fuck sake, isabella.
1
What's the definition of "bare minimum"?
One bear