Also, your post will be removed in another...8 hours or so.

Oh, did not know. Well ,leeching it is then.

Thank you for posting. We are a crit for a crit subreddit though and this has no crit of someone else's work. Please read the stickied post or side bar. Until a crit is done this will  be marked as leeching.

Oh no. It does not. I rarely take it that way. The speech had some weaknesses that need to be removed that is all. I think I did good for a first draft version tho! And out of all things, him being pompous was just as planned.

I know it probably stings, but it will come out better and stronger.

It does help. We'll, it will take some time and effort to to do it good. Your feedback is appreciated.

Sorry if this is a little harsh.

 Speeches and monologues should be stand alone pieces that convey their message without all of the necessary context. If you look at great speeches and especially well made monologues, you should be able to understand the writer's message through the text by only listening or reading. That is the beauty and the burden of the monologue.   
  
Considering this, I do think that you convey your character's dissatisfaction with the overall world. He has suffered through no fault of his own and he has been blessed by no merit. However, the logic and writing for this excerpt is vague and all over the place. The biggest criticism I have is to explore the essence of what this person wants.   
  
Does he want to make innocent people suffer the way he has? Is he like the Joker, an agent of chaos for chaos' sake? Is he like Thanos, believing that he is actually doing the world and humanity a favor by killing God?   
  
He cites the unfairness and injustice o

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