lol, I'm going to party like it's my Cake Day

Glad you liked it and found it inspiring :)

And, happy cake day!

Nature poems that compare human lives to things of nature are really my favorite thing.

I loved the metaphor of the rings of the tree to "rings of regret."

I felt like we got to experience both time and space through the life of a "tree." We were inside in the area where past shows its scars that have been charred there. We foresee the future where the tree will grow upward.

The personified Gallows Tree is used very well to put the reader in the "mind" of a tree.

Actually, this poem really inspired me to write a specific type of poem that would reference this one well, I think I'm going to write out that idea and post it here in the future.

Thanks for the feedback! Like most of my poems this one grew out of the first line, which I also thought had a nice ring to it. To me it sounded like it could be the title of an emo song and I do have to admit that the pathos of this piece was amplified as a result.   

A lot of my poems deal with resilience and growth and that's what I was aiming for with this one, too. To me, this poem is about moving on from past failures and having hope for the future. I had this mental image of a tree with corpses hanging from it but covered in flowers, and I wanted to draw the contrast between the dark and brooding part of the poem with optimism at the end using that image. I'll have to revisit the second half and make sure that this one doesn't end up sounding too broody by the end.

Thanks for the honest critique, it's very helpful!

I think the first line is excellent, and the rest of the poem sort of doesn't live up to the promise.

The internal rhyme of "history's" to "gallow's tree" is great. I really love that kind of thing, where lines rhyme to other lines, but have almost a mini internal verse to them selves. 

I would encourage you to find ways to reword other lines the replicate that kind of punch.

I also read this several times and am really struggling to sus out what the poem is actually saying. It seems to essentially be, if I am correct, that I (the author) am like a dark and twisted tree.

Right? It feels like it's posturing as if it's saying much more than it actually is. It's just kinda a generic "I'm very dark and brooding" kinda thing. Which is some people's kind of poem, but not mine.

But i'm telling you, "My History's a Gallows Tree" has the ring of a great quotable line from a famous work. I want to steal it but of course wont.

Thanks for your feedback! As far as the meter, I wasn't going for iambic tetrameter on purpose, it just kind of turned out that way. But now that you've mentioned it, I might go back and try to clean it up so the whole poem fits into a meter scheme. Thanks for pointing that out!

I like the alliteration like 'dreams and demons' and 'rings of regret'; the latter is a really good connection between rings being the equivalent of memories. Furthermore, I like the tree, being old and damaged over time but yet still is growing and living, as metaphor of memories and history. The contrast with the final line is really good imagery and acts as a final twist of growth and overcoming the past.

I also took notice that most of the lines are iambic tetrameter?

Nobody knows this fact about me but I am hugely inspired by "gallows" and "hanging" thing. It's weird to say that like this but I love the metaphore of it when used in a poem or a painting. And when it is used, it is always amazing, like this one :)

Hey, that was a lovely poem! The dark, evil theme and word-chiseling of the first half was so splendid, like I enjoyed it so much. Dope stuff)

Brilliant rhyming and metaphors! I absolutely adore the metaphors  of the rings - the idea that they are physical representations not only of the passing years, but also of all the damning and negative memories that come with them. The metaphor of the leaves is also brilliant - they still hold their color despite being dead, meaning that they appear alive to the outward observer. For me, this pokes the idea of hiding your true pain from the outside world. 

Some of the rhymes are very unique and fun, while also staying pretty much entirely structured. I especially like the rhyming of “map” and “sap”, as well as “leaves” and “achieves”.

In general, the ability to tell a cohesive story and communicate single structured thought through a singular metaphor, all while maintaining a consistency rhyme scheme is very admirable. This is an impressive work!

I really loved this poem, especially for its use of the imagery of a tree to explain human life. I've actually been using trees a lot in the last couple of poems I've written, so it was nice to see a completely different take to it. Quite an inspiring piece indeed!

Wow, thank you for the response! I've been writing anywhere from 1-3 poems everyday since february of last year, with maybe 2-3 every other day being genuinely good (in my opinion at least). It's cool to see think that people can still be passionate about something that they don't do everyday, however, out of fear of losing my passion, I write daily. I do make sure that I am enjoying it though. Keep it up!

Glad you enjoyed it! 

It usually takes me about an hour to put together a poem once I sit down to start writing it. However, I usually don't start writing a poem until I've had the idea kicking around in my head for a week or so. I also don't write very consistently - I tend to go through bursts where I'm writing multiple poems a day, and then long periods where I'm not writing at all - so there's lots of "inactive" time that goes into subconscious processing of ideas for poems.

How long does it take you to write poems like these? I've noticed that a lot of poems in this community are full of metaphors and whatnot (which, I suppose, should not be surprising). "And here, where red and sticky sap - still trickles, trapped within am I" was my favorite set of lines by far. I can't really explain why, but something about it just sits nicely with me. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for the feedback! 

I agree that it could use some more elaboration. I was thinking of it as something non-literal, where abstract concepts like dreams and delusions were put to death by the narrator after they failed to deliver on their promises. But that's not as satisfying, I think, as something more concrete. I'll revisit it - thanks again for pointing this out.

Trees are one of the best metaphors to use in poetry, you did wonderfully at using them, I love how you connect all the memories and past to parts of the tree (especially the rings of regret), I think the poem could use some more elaboration however on why it’s a gallows tree, did others die here and leave behind scars, or was that just yourself?

I really felt a connection to, “rings of regret left as a map to memories that cannot die, my future lies just overhead.” It takes me to memories we can’t seem to forget and how the future is on the other side.


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Gallows tree