Am I demisexual? - FAQs, Links and Resources Masterpost
Am I demisexual?
A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else, the demisexual (may) experience(s) sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific person or persons.
It's all a spectrum. Some demisexuals may feel very close to asexuality and experience attraction to extremely few people in their entire lifetimes, and each may take a very long time to develop, while others may find attraction develops more frequently and often find themselves crushing on their friends.
There's always a lot of posts asking for reassurance on identifying with Demisexuality, and probably always will be. It's alright to identify with one label and later change your mind, or not be 100% sure. You know yourself best and your sexuality is not determined by your behaviour; ultimately labels are for communicating, not a test.
Demisexuality is about sexual attraction not sexual behaviour. Plenty of people may refrain from sex even if they have sexual attraction, demisexuals usually don't have sexual attraction to refrain from.
Frequently asked questions
- Is Demisexuality LGBT+? Demisexuality is part of the asexual spectrum which falls under LGBTQIA
- Can you be demisexual for just one gender? Yes, demisexuals may also be straight, gay, bi, etc. The labels can be combined: demiheterosexual, demihomosexual, demibisexual, dellosexual.
This post will be maintained to provide external resources and further reading for our community. Please feel free to comment or message the mods to suggest an addition to the list, or to report broken links.
Demisexuality General
- What is Demisexuality?
- Could I Be Demisexual?
- Am I Demisexual If...
- Under the Ace Umbrella
- World Pride Panel on Gray Asexuality and Demisexuality
- Demisexuality on the AVEN Wiki
- Demisexuality Livejournal
- Myths About Demisexuals
- Demisexuality is Not...
- Writing Demisexual Characters
- The development of gray asexuality and demisexuality as identity terms
- In Defense of Demisexuality
- Confessions of a Demisexual
Attraction and Behavior
- A Demisexual's Guide to Sex
- How to Have Sex With an Asexual Person
- Affirmations for Sex Repulsed People
- Unwanted arousal
- The Invisible Elephant
- Asexuality and BDSM
- Sex Repulsion and Kink
- Different types of attraction
- Asexual Masturbation
- An Asexual on Sex
- Differentiating Types of Attraction
- Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
Relationships
- Dating as a Demisexual
- How Do I Talk To My Partner About Demisexuality?
- An Asexual/Sexual Relationship
- Advice for Allosexual Partners of Asexuals
- Asexual Relationships
- Swankivy's video on long term relationships
- Friends
Demisexual Experiences
Coming Out
- Coming Out As Demisexual
- Swankivy on coming out as demisexual to a parent
- Asexuals on coming out advice
Asexuality General
- Asexuals: Who Are They and Why Are They Important?
- Asexuality: the X in a Sexual World
- Possible Signs of Asexuality, part 1
- Possible Signs of Asexuality, part 2
- Possible Signs of Asexuality, part 3
- Resources for Ace Survivors
Attraction forming speed survey
The survey is now finished and results are now out: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16nYnVP9Supdhjbbc-0DBlNVBU0pSaaTf3vCX3_D3ydw/viewanalytics
Tldr: there really is no 'normal'/average timeframe for developing sexual attraction for demisexuals.
Other subreddits
Discord groups
- Demisexuality Discord group
- DoubleDemiTalk
The listed Discords have their own rules and systems in place, if you have issues with them you will need to resolve them with the discord group, not this subreddit.
This post will be maintained to provide external resources and further reading for our community. Please feel free to comment or message the mods to suggest an addition to the list and to report broken links.
Posted Jan 8, 2022, 9:48 PM UTC · edited