Anyone have any tips on how to stop these two goons turning my garden into some sordid den of iniquity?
Posted Jan 18, 2022, 1:22 PM UTC
16491
Leave them alone or they will put you in a little dress and hurt you.
43
There’s a brief insight into your fantasy world! 😂
3
Human male pee is definitely the best deterant.
28
This is 100% correct
Pee in a sports bottle and spray around garden
6
Just put a sign up outside the nearest pub, where every weekend drunk yobs will exit the pub, where there were toilets, and immediately look for a doorway to relieve themselves. Might as well do it in your garden! 😂
6
If only nature provided us with a simpler way ;)
5
Coffee grounds are pretty good fox and cat deterrent. I chuck my used ones on the garden - they're good for the garden, also slugs and snails don't like walking (... slithering?) on them.
And unlike piss, they don't smell foul.
If you don't drink coffee, most coffee shops will give you a big bag of used grounds.
2
don't like walking (... slithering?)
"Land snails have a strong muscular foot;"
So cos only one, hopping?
3
You are kidding right? The foxes around here enjoy a good coffee in the morning. Coffee is a so called slug deterrent. It doesn't detract foxes at all. Sorry but 40 years says otherwise.
1
At least they're not selling crack.
27
Yet.
7
I wouldn’t put any money on that!! 😂
2
Gonna sound funny as hell but you'll wanna piss in a big bottle and then draw a circle round your garden. Basically marks the territory as EXTREMELY yours. Used to do it at a tiny petting zoo I worked at to save the chickens
25
Everything about this is incredibly specific, and I love it!
11
Tehehe!
2
First sentence sounds like the start of a magic spell.
1
-10 Charisma +15 Defence
Defends against foxes. Flip a coin. If heads, your neighbours think you're a complete nut job
3
Pee on them to assert your dominance.
14
Hey someone suggested water pistol and other people suggested piss. Have you considered a water pistol full of piss?
14
That could go horribly wrong, if one of your kids gets hold of it! 😂
3
Start an onlyfans?
11
OnlyFoxes
21
Give them food but put meth in the food, they will go crazy and explode, works every time
10
OP only has ket, does that work?
6
That is not funny, downvoted!
-4†
lmao
6
I’m no expert but this definitely sounds like it will work
5
Leave em be they’re adorable!
8
Noise aside, I don’t mind them but the dog has taken their residency very personally
18
They are filthy wild scavengers
-26
Wild, yes. Filthy? You should see some of the other Brighton residents...
36
Vote conservative
8
Underrated.
2
Pretty much nothing stops these little fuckers, I've heard of all kinds of deterrents
- Jays fluid - "They don't like the smell". Nope they don't care
- Human male urine. /fox, fucks not given
- Wall spikes - have you seen how high a fox can jump?! They can clear a 6' fence with ease (or just dig under it)
- Pest repellent fluid. /fox already stinks, see fucks not given
- Culling with a rifle. There's always a backup fox to take his place
- Relocation via the fox project, see above.
- Getting a big angry dog - Basil now has a play mate
The only thing I've seen that remotely works is a motion detecting sprayer that you plug in to your garden hose. This only works as long as you have it on, and they leak like your grandma at christmas.
About the best you can do is make sure there's no reason for Basil to come in to your garden. Remove food, secure bins, block obvious entrances, block up dens (out of mating season).
There's a reason the saying "Crafty as a fox" exists. It'll be the cockroaches and Basil roaming the earth once we're long gone.
I have zero idea why they have protected status when they are blatantly destructive vermin
7
Cos they cute AF
2
Have loud sex when they try to sleep..
6
Human hair. Next time you get a hair cut. Hoping your not bald as I type this but whatever. Keep it and spread it around the garden. Will smell of humans and should keep them away.
5
This works - they hate it.
3
This is a new one to me?
1
Live and let love.
4
Take down the romantic lightning
4
I knew of someone that put a big metal bin at the back of the garden and whenever they heard them he'd shoot the bin with an air rifle to scare them off. Aparently worked pretty well
3
At this points it’s probably best to just film it and sell DVDs of the party on Amazon.
3
[deleted]
4
Amateur Foxy vixens sub category?
3
Step fox what are you doing back there?
3
[deleted]
3
They are indeed locked together. Google the anatomy illustrations at your own risk.
6
woah! no wonder they make such a racket.
5
Stray dogs often get locked like this too. It all to do with the design of the penis which is such that once inside the ladies, all the time it remains erect it can't withdraw.
2
Aww they're locked there aren't they? No wonder they scream after fucking.
I'd advise buying a very powerful water pistol and laying in wait .
Works a treat with dogs and cats .doesn't hurt them either.
3
I have to admit that’s a disappointing response with such a username.
9
Read between the lines....clearly I'm advocating construction of an airbourne heath Robinsonesk naphia dispersal system.
5
Get rid of the light bulbs, it gives them ideas.
They are their ideas. Thoughtful creatures.