green eyed monster
[removed]
Posted Jan 18, 2022, 9:50 PM UTC
[removed]
Posted Jan 18, 2022, 9:50 PM UTC
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Very nice
thank you!
This poem is greater than you even realize. I love the idea of acknowledging that you are jealous while also wishing you weren't but said in a creative way. I also love the way it connects the start of the poem to the end!
THANK YOU!!! the end was iffy, i was on the fence about it sjwosjkwn
Beautiful.
Simple but powerful and affecting
the powerful part got me good. thank you so so much
Love it!
thank you!!!
😘
Those last 2 lines are very powerful. This was an amazing piece and I love how you tied the color and the emotion together.
i’m so so glad you liked it, thank you!!!
This is absolutely lovely. Keep up the good work!
thank you so much!
No problem!
Nice and simple but I'm wondering what do you want to be other than green? Perhaps you could extend the analogy by talking about for example that you'd like to be the color purple because that represents to you contentment or some positive emotion.
Overall this is a beautiful reflection on a common phrase, what it means to you and how you feel about being jealous. I think that your separation and spacing is a strength because it makes it easy for me as a reader to see a clear shift is coming. I would work on maybe being more descriptive of yourself as the jealous monster- "beautiful" is too common a word to convey much tone - a word like "gorgeous" or "grandiose" or something may establish more tone.
To that end I think the lower case letter and question in the last paragraph do establish a good tone like a thoughtful longing for yourself to change which is well-done.
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Beautiful spin on a classic metaphor :)
thank you!!!