Thank you, ATEEZ, for the gift of Fever: Epilogue and making me feel seen.

I know I should be watching fan cams from Chicago right now, but I just keep thinking about the gift that was Fever: Epilogue, and I want to take a moment to thank ATEEZ for it on this Thank U Thursday. (I know they aren’t reading Reddit, but maybe that KQ intern will stumble across it one day.) The further we get from Epilogue’s release, the more I’m convinced that Fever: Epilogue is their absolute best album my favorite album. Ever. And I’m so grateful to them for reminding me that I’m not alone, that there is good in the world, and that the good in the world is amplified when we’re together.

Both emotionally and sonically, every single part of this album just works for me. The album feels like a release. Like taking a deep breath after being tense. Like everything, all the struggles the boys had in 2021, what with Kingdom, Mingi’s absence, Jongho’s continued injury, their insane schedule, all of it led to this album. This moment. And now we can all breathe. We can all be here, together, just as we are. And there was no better way to close out the year.

Ultimately, togetherness is the theme of the album and what makes the album work as one whole. Even when all of the songs don’t have a cohesive sound, they have a cohesive soul.

Turbulence is arguably one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. The number of times I’ve cried to this song specifically is embarrassing. And it’s not even the lyrics–which are in fact beautiful and also make me cry–it’s the overall sound. Eden and Hongjoong said they wanted people to hear this song and know they’re not alone. I don’t know what sort of soul-selling pact they must’ve made to achieve such a lofty goal, but the song somehow achieves exactly that: when I hear it, I know I’m not alone.

It’s almost out of body for me–I hear the song, and I see myself, working hard and trying and fighting and not giving up. And I see myself overcome, but still working hard. Still here, still fighting and trying every day. I can overcome it because we’re together–because there are people to embrace me–because other people are going through the same things. I’m–we’re–not alone.

Turbulence is also the perfect bookend to Fever, the first song of the Fever series. In Fever, the lyrics tell us “because there are no stars, I can’t grab them.” It’s about being lost, unable to even find a way to light your path. And after all–after all we’ve been through– Turbulence tells us ”we shine on our own.” We are the stars.

Turbulence is followed by Be With You, which is at the top of my list for best B-sides. Both Be With You and Turbulence talk about “embracing” someone. In Turbulence, it’s asking to be embraced (“Can someone just embrace me?”), but in Be With You, it’s sharing that embrace with others (“I’ll embrace you”). And like Turbulence, Be With You makes me feel like someone is there with me. The song itself is like the warm embrace the lyrics promise. Part of that is the vocals–they all sound incredibly good here. San and Jongho’s voices are standouts, but really, it’s all of them. Even our rappers give us a beautiful, vocally driven performance.

The Letter follows as the last of the “new” songs, and on any other album, it would’ve ranked among the best b-side for me. It could’ve been this album’s Not Too Late. But it’s sandwiched between Be With You and OT8 Still Here, and I almost didn’t notice it. It took their Christmas Special Clip, and seeing the lyrics while hearing the song, to make me pay attention. Because here it is again–togetherness. The song is about the strength they get from having someone else always there. (“We cried and laughed countless times now.”) They–and by extension we–will get through it because we are together, even when it’s hard. And that’s so beautiful.

Because isn’t that what it means to be together? Because loving someone–choosing to be on the path of togetherness–inevitably means there will be hard times too. You can’t protect your heart when your heart belongs to more than just yourself. And the one line that I feel deep in my soul is when Seonghwa says, “I know that you smiled for me, even at that moment, after a long weary day.” (translations courtesy of KQ)

Which brings me to my gratitude for the OT8 versions of Still Here, Better, and the Kingdom songs. They didn’t have to give us this. Sonically, these songs don’t fit with the rest of the album. Instead of the softer ballads, the Kingdom songs have almost bombastic classical elements and include musical style sound effects, like the dragging chain and the kraken. But I needed these. Because actually, it’s important to have OT8 versions. I missed Mingi, and so did ATEEZ. They weren’t together during a large portion of 2021, and it sucked. It’s beautiful that they gifted us versions with Mingi; it’s like they’re saying we’re whole again—all of us—Atiny and ATEEZ. We’re together. You don’t have to worry.

And that leads me to The Real. This song is a perfect encapsulation of all the parts of this album. The song says this is who we are, and you can either accept it or not. After we’ve come together, after we’ve been through it all, here we are, together, and that’s what makes us cool–that is our style. Look at us.

Even though the theme of togetherness isn’t as clear from the lyrics of The Real, the music video is a triumph of togetherness. They all start out in their different factions. Yeosang and Mingi are completely alone. But by the end, they’re all friends, dancing together, celebrating each other, and being themselves. As they should be.

So, while the album may not have a cohesive sound, it has a cohesive soul: the soul of ATEEZ. And I couldn’t possibly love them more for it. It is their strongest album my favorite album.

This album is the album of my heart. And I am grateful to ATEEZ for closing out 2021 with this album and reminding me that I’m not alone, that togetherness is valuable, and that living as you are is important. Thank you, ATEEZ, for being with me and understanding me, even when I’m having a hard time. And thank you for bringing Atinys together. Thank you for the friendships you’ve brought me, and the friendships you’ve helped deepen. Thank you for Fever: Epilogue, which made me feel seen and like I could breathe easier.