
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

you know i appreciate this comment. I definitely wrote this out of rage and really didn’t think about describing anything at all because i couldn’t. This place is somewhere i express myself but right now all i wanted was to write something really quick. Other than that, thanks for reading.

this feels teenage. which, if you're a teenager, fits. if you aren't, it's a sign of immaturity in writing. fortunately, that can be improved with practice. 

there's a lack of variety and vocabulary here. all we have are words that are meant to describe, but don't *really* describe. ask yourself, "how? why? in what way?" and then write those answers. that's where the poetry comes out, instead of a journal entry with line breaks. 

simple examples: "you make me feel crazy" -> "you steal my change and blame me for losing it." 

"everything on your time" -> "you banshee screamed when my phone died, and were late to pick me up anyway."

"you're unkind" -> "that critical eye misses nothing - not a wrinkle in my skirt, not a spot of dirt on my shoes, not a needling about a new boyfriend."

you feel hate? we all do. it's not special. if you want the reader to receive the transmission of what you're actually feeling, you have to present it much clearer and much more precisely. writing out you

[deleted by user]