I'm being falsely accused of sending sexually explicit texts to an ex-coworker/ex-girlfriend. Help.
I use the term "girlfriend" lightly because we dated for maybe a month, month and a half, and separated because it just wasn't working out. I doubt even she would have considered us an Item, which is what makes this so weird.
I'm distraught... I don't know what to do. I moved on from a previous company to a sister company because of my skillset. I briefly dated an x-coworker at the first company. There was no static... things ended pretty uneventfully... we actually remained friendly and even hung out with no issue in person since. She came to the adoption center to help me pickout the 2 cats that I'm the proud papa of now. Things were fine as far as I knew. But the company I work at now is still very involved with the company I came from where this girl works. And recently, out of NOWHERE, after not being in contact for at least weeks, and nothing being out of the ordinary, she went to management and said that an anonymous number has been texting her sexually explicit pictures and harassment, and she thinks its me. She went to management and said "I don't want him to get fired, but you should know he (me) is doing this to me".
I literally have no idea what's going on. I have nothing to do with this. This has completely blindsided me... We were on good terms.. We never had a fight of any consequence, ever. Just differences in taste and opinion that made for a bad fit. She never came to me about any concerns, ever... I'm very well liked at both companies. I have no history of anything of the sort. I am not involved in what is happening at all. But that has apparently not mattered because of the nature of the accusations. I'm on probation and getting screwed out of health and dental insurance for a while because of this situation, and am being forced to take a pay cut... Right before I am desperately in need of some major dental surgery. I'm beside myself because I care about this person and would never do anything like this to anyone.
I keep telling everyone to please get the law involved, please pull my text records direct from the carrier, please, anything... I'm willing to cooperate and do anything to clear my name. I Just don't know what to do. This is horrible. I never thought anything like this could ever happen to me.
What complicates things is I'm an x-drug addict, and i've been pretty open about this with my current job because they are like family (or so I thought).... But now they are using that against me, and assume its very possible I did this because I have a history of drug abuse. But I promise you that has absolutely nothing to do with this whatsoever. I've been doing good. I hate this so much.
AND ALSO because I work in Tech, everyone assumes i'm a "1337 hacker" who of course could do this, and hide it.... how do you disprove that? I have absolutely no idea how to spoof cellphone numbers.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm losing my mind.
Posted Jan 26, 2022, 10:10 AM UTC · edited
Pull your phone records from your phone company and retain an attorney asap. You might care for this person but they are actively slandering you and you need to be in damage control mode, starting with a cease and desist letter to her before anything goes further.
This is the best advice so far, that I would have assumed to be the best. It just sucks having the former drug addict thing held against me. But I have no shame, am proud of where I'm at, and didn't do anything. So if anything I'm moving forward with your suggestion.
You should be proud. Coming back from addiction can be quite a feat. Took me many years to clean up and I ruined the first part of my adult life. But I’ve been able to recover and ultimately I feel Im a better, more understanding person for having those struggles. It’s unfortunate your boss doesn’t understand the difference between a drug addict and a sex offender.
Love you brother (sister?). Recovery absolutely was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And I've dealt with the stigma at many stages of that processes. Your own recovery is nobodies responsibility but your own... But bot does society not make it easy... Assuming the worst of you every step of the way
Also, try not to communicate with this person. If they force the issue and try to email you, save those emails for your attorney.
Written communication is preferred for your workplaces as well if possible. If your bosses refuses to document what's going on there and wants to "just talk to you", let them know they can communicate directly with your lawyer.
Agreed. Someone else below suggested trying to contact the accuser, and I was like,: ummm ..... Yea.. hell no.
Absolutely this. Fuck that girl. She is no friend of yours. Based on nothing more than speculation, she has threatened your livelihood. She didn’t bother giving you a chance. She doesn’t deserve any respect or consideration. You are best treating her like the enemy and protecting yourself legally and by the book. Have a paper trail.