There is a lot of pain in this poem and that really shines through. It is very raw and I mean that in a good way. What I would suggest is that sometimes it feels like you're forcing the rhyme a little bit. Sometimes a strong metaphor or alliteration can make up for a lack of rhyming or definite structure. I'd suggest you experiment a bit with just expressing yourself, because you have good ideas. Don't feel like you always need to have a strong clear rhyme scheme.


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I feel your pain, as I'm sure many thousands do. I enjoy the simplicity of your poem. Not being bogged down with metaphors and symbolism, just straight-to-the-point hard feelings, which in a way echoes the plain and simple truth of the world we live in.

>As far as I can see, there is no escape


This is an interesting view on current life and tying its lack of freedom and passion to a world of slavery. The poem is somehow heartfelt but also emotionless, as though a hint of mystery and overwhelming defeat slipped into the cracks. Although it's not as deep as some of the other poems I've seen on this subreddit, it still emphasizes a place of no escape, that wrenching chaos trapped inside, where you could only be helpless. I really enjoy the beauty of this type of poem.

This is so beautiful. It is also so perfectly worded and very easy to relate too. I definitely feel like a slave in today’s time. Only using short sentences and little explanation, but you’ve said so so soooo much. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed the read.

Pssssssst. Have you seen what is happening in Libya after Hillary Clinton destablized the nation by removing their leader without any realistic plan for the aftermath? Look it up! Africans in chains waiting at auction after arriving by boat. Too preoccupied to be offended by your poem about how much your job sucks.

According to The Global Slavery Index there are roughly 40.3 million slaves in the world currently "with 71% of those being female, and 1 in 4 being children." For contrast, in Antebellum America there were 300,000 slaves in 1760, 1.5 million slaves in 1820, and 3.6 million in 1865. Oh, did I mention that you can go onto Instagram in Kuwait and buy a black or indonesian woman for $3,000? What fun!

Modern slavery