Inclement Weather (Performance Piece)

It wasn't storming the day you walked away.

Yet the blood in my ears thundered with every step.

I kept searching for a cyclone to appear and swallow me as ceremonious celebration for my life's biggest fuck.

Not swallowed whole mind you,

but chewed up,

and spit out,

and chewed up again.

Like the stupid paranoid thoughts I masticate on every day.

Like the anger and fear that pushed you away.

​

It seems like it should have been raining.

And in my memory it actually is.

But I know that it wasn't.

Because my pale skin burns with sunlight that isn't there.

Because my eyes squint with an invisible glare cast by shadows.

Because I can pick out each of my individual teardrops as they fall and hit the pavement.

I KNOW it was sunny,

because before you ever spoke,

I noticed how beautiful it looked shining through your hair.

No, it wasn't storming.

But I felt the rain.

Link 1

Link 2