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I love how deeply this goes into how important validation is that comes from within, while outside validation is frail and thin

thanks for your feedback and kind words. that was a free association kind of text. i only changed one or two words when i read it for the second time. that's just to put it in a writing practice context. i would not work on it more, unless i wanted to make it into a song. i like the spontaneity and little inconsistencies. to be honest, '(bro)' is prolly my favourite part - it makes me smile. there is a subtle joke there for me. maybe we don't share the same cultural background. 'bro' in my life is a very versatile word. and i am sure some of my friends would laugh reading that.  if i were to think of this text as lyrics, you have made a very good point regarding rhyming being a little inconsistent. i would definitely work on that. 'bro' would also have to either be sung or not... so,... well commented and thanks again!

I am mostly going to talk about form here, because I think content is great. It seems like sometimes you try to set up a rhyme scheme while other times you don't feel it necessary to convey your message. It might be beneficial to go one way or the other: either focus entirely on content or form. Also, as for the parantheses, I think you should either say it or you shouldn't. If you feel it's necessary to put it there, then put it there, if you want to let the reader decide, then maybe leave it out.

creativity saves