The Minnesota Wild should be renamed the C-Sections

It's a well established fact that there are more c-sections in Minnesota per-capita than in any where in the world. The reason being is that a disproportionately high number of children in the state are born with hockey skates on. A c-section is a necessary medical procedure to prevent thousands of vaginas from getting torn to shred by newborns sharp hockey blades. It is a monumental innovation that has save countless lives of mothers - and more importantly allowed the children's birth to be planned - thus allowing for more accurate scheduling of ice-time on the day of birth.

The hockey team currently known as the Wild should celebrate their states leadership in cutting edge childbirth. I suggest they be renamed the Minnesota C-Sections. Imagine the logo - a baby holding an axe wearing skates crawling out of a bloody letter C. The kid would have a beard too. After a goal - fans can throw placentas on the ice. And upon introductions - the players would skate on the ice ripping through a flesh colored screen.

Lastly, the name "Wild" is quite shitty.