Posted Feb 8, 2022, 4:44 PM UTC · edited
When I started college several years ago there was an Iraqi girl that sat next to me in one of my math classes. We were around the same age & would often work together on problems during class. We were friendly with each other when we passed on campus and exchanged pleasantries.
One day before class I was in the math lab doing homework and she sat down at my table to finish hers as well. We began conversing about our personal lives a bit. I talked about how my wife was a teacher and that she helped me with some of my homework. She talked a little bit about her son. Because she brought her son up I asked her what her husband did and she said her husband died died in 2003 during the war. I told her I was sorry, and inside felt absolutely horrible because I was part of the invasion in 2003.
Even though it’s highly highly highly unlikely I had anything remotely to do with her husband’s death (I don’t even know how he died exactly) I still think of her and her son often enough and feel pretty sad about it. It was the first time the true impact of our actions really effected me, and is what really changed my thinking about our foreign policy.
We remained friends until I transferred out of community college. I hope her and her son are doing well.
Wow man that must’ve been a surreal experience, I hope they are doing well too. Y’all did some amazing work and hope you’re doing well.
I was there for 1.2 in 03-04 and 05-06. I try really hard to specifically not think about that. I am sure that our Terp remembers me but I hope nobody else does.
I’ve had to talk about it during mental health appointments but outside of that it comes up every now and then, especially those bad intel hard knocks in the middle of the night, all part of it I guess
Yeah. That and more. Went through the VA mental health circuit, but I don’t think I will ever be OK with it. Anyway, I hope you get better, Devil
Cheers man
I studied Arabic in college, and there were a handful of students about ten years younger than me that moved to the US from Iraq. I always hoped to meet a kid from Fallujah (I was there in 2008) or maybe a kid in some way helped.
I know a handful of men I worked with were killed by Al Qaeda and ISIS, and I assume their kids were murdered too. Unfortunately, the people I worked most closely with in Afghanistan were killed too.
I was there in fallujah as well in 08, that’s pretty cool you got to see people that were there move here, I bet they had some stories
Damn man. I’ve had some pretty good head damage over the years, can’t remember a lot of things for sure. But it made me tear up thinking about who remembers me
It’s a trip to think how they see things, what they tell people about their times during the war and if I’m included in any of the ones “they’ll never forget”
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Yes, and sometimes it keeps me up at night in fear I negatively affected someone's life and I am the face they see. Like, there are a few people in everyone's life you will remember until the day you die and can see their faces clear as day even decades after the fact. Like your DIs for example. You'll remember those people for the rest of your life. I'm not saying I was an asshole or anything. But the observer might have a much different attitude about it. I'm also not claiming that I'd be the guy they see because I think it's a little conceited to think about but what if, you know? I guess all you can really do is move forward and try to make positive impacts on people's lives consciously. Some of those people also might remember you fondly as well. No way to know. But yes, it's something I think about quite a bit.
Good way to look at it, I know I’ve had very negative and also very positive interactions with the locals there, some very specific things pop up from time to time and it always brings me down a bit
I hear you. This is a topic I try to talk to my wife about sometimes when shit really bothers me. I don't really expect her to understand what I'm talking about but nice to put the feelings out from time to time. But you aren't alone at all. I try to be a real good friend to the few that are close to me. I try do a lot to help them from trivial shit to more important stuff be it like helping them move to life advice (which I'm ok with it if they disregard). I heard Jim Mattis say once that he doesn't buy the concept that war and conflict just creates damaged people. While it's true in a lot of situations, war and conflict can also help you to be a better person later in life. I think it's pretty spot on but everyone's mileage may vary. But you aren't alone.
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