For Anyone Who Wants To Listen

Hello. I'm an 18 year old girl, and I feel helpless.

I have suffered from depression since I can remember, but recently I have begun to feel as though my life kind of has no purpose. I have a boyfriend, but for some reason I still feel completely alone. Like, it doesn't even feel like we're together when I see him, and it goes so fast as if it didn't even happen. I have a job full time because I decided to take a gap year this year and it's making me feel like I'm really going nowhere. I have no hobbies or passions. I just bought a new laptop for $1,100 just to write out a Reddit post. I don't know what to do anymore. I just need someone who is exactly like me and can be with me all of the time. I don't know.