Source
r/OCPoetry•
Majimbi

Maybe

Poem

Maybe

​

You used to love me

But i didn't give a fuck.

Not because of you be

But because of that smirk.

​

Still i gave you a run

Not to disrespect you,

love can be a complex pun

Maybe i would fall too.

​

It didn't work out...

we faded away...

Until two years later

You brighten my day!

​

Tables have turned

My turn to beg.

​

You gave me my chance

Hanged out whit me

And at a glance

We were meant to be

​

I loved you to hard

I scared you away

A bastard broke your hearth,

Confused, i was put to bay.

​

On hold i wait

As promised to you

Hopping with faith

for your love too

​

Can't wait more

It hurts too much.

​

Told you time was up

Asked you for resolutions

I was hopeful but...

It was all just confusion.

​

Till today i waited

whitout knowing i did

You gave no reason for hatred

I still love you to the pit

​

I'll stand by you

And causing no harm

Maybe im a fool, but...

Third time the charm?

​

Sorry for the size i got inspired. Its a true story, fell free to make questions.

1 2

Posted Mar 14, 2022, 11:01 PM UTC · edited

47
stillrunning10•

Pretty good,... Liked how it was straight forward.. You gotta edit out Silly spelling mistakes tho.. Kills the vibe.. Otherwise pretty cool

2
MajimbiOP•

Thanks for the support, I want to work on my metaphors. I believe there are spelling mistakes but I can't find them.

1
msmith9999•

I don't understand this line:

Not because of you be

It feels like a mistake of some kind. And, these lines:

Hanged out whit me

Hopping whit faith

whitout knowing i did

I assume you meant to use the word 'with'? But even correcting the spelling, I'm still not sure what Hopping with faith means?

And finally, what does this mean?

I still love you to the pit

Overall, I think the poem shows some promise, but it definitely needs some polishing. I like the pacing and the rhythm of the words, even if some of the words don't seem to make much sense to me.

2
MajimbiOP•

Ok so let's get started. The line "not because of who you be" means "not because of who you were", meaning i didn't care about her not because of her personality, but because of her looks.

The second means she went on dates whit me.

On the stranza of the third I mean that I'm waiting for her love whit hope and faith, meaning that I believe she won't turn me down, which didn't happen. ;-;

The fourth means that I kept waiting for her love without realising it. I literally said i wouldn't wait more, yet here i am, and i didn't realise it right away.

The "I still love you to the pit" means " I still love you till I die", the pit is the grave.

Thanks for the question!

1
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1
Hedonist-6854•

Edit out the silly spelling mistakes...but i can definitely relate my guy and the last stanza shoes there's hope ig lol..good one

1
catalyst1729•

Great 😃👍

1