Brother.

Really solid poem. Last two lines fit perfectly and their rhythm is great. The rhythm in line 5 “Made it through the worst” I think is a bit awkward because the previous two lines also contain the word “through” (those two lines flow really well together.) I think it could sound better if you switch the line to “Overcame the worst” as it shortens up the line a bit and I think it flows into the next line well.

Lines 4 and 6 aren’t capitalised.

I love how this poem captures the relationship between brothers. Best friends yet also arch enemies.

First critique so take it with a grain of salt.

Nice good stuff 👍

''Made it through the worst - now all is well…'' - These two verse sets (or singular stanza, you can correct me if the capitalized 5th sentence means the lead and the 6th a follow-up maintaining a single verse) lower our guard for what's to come, simple, ordained, well-done.

Favorite verses: ''What’s this? - A knife in my back - Who would have guessed.'' Enjoyable sequence, and literal truth throughout man's history.

--What was the inspiration behind the poem Aesthler?

this was really great, i like the comparison between the first and second stanza. it was simplistic yet shocking, would make a great beginning for a greek mythology/war book!!

It's like a short story in a very short poem.. Really really dope approach.. It's nothing fancy but still feels classy.

I love this. I'm pretty close to my brother, so the thought of him stabbing me in the back really invoked some strong feelings in me. I really like the way you space this up. I feel like the normal "space between stanzas" wouldn't work well here. The sharp line you have really separated the feelings of love and security from betrayal and hurt.

Keep writing! You're really talented!

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I liked the first half, specially the flow between

"Fought through fire.
trudged through hell.
Made it through the worst.
now all is well…"

As for the second half i feel like the first line "Ouch" feels out of place and that this half of the poem should be able to express your pain without it. I think that the next three lines all questions express confusion but I don't find that they add to the flow of the poem.

Personally I like this poem quite a bit. It’s simply put, but also has a nice bit of dramatic flair. I have to admit, I’m confused by the line, but I guess it represents action against the narrator, which I can get behind. I like how it ends, and it feels extremely relatable to basically anyone. If anything, I’d say to move away from cliches “us against the world” and towards a different way to show that point. Well done!

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This poem is really interesting. Being betrayed by the one you love most certainly hurts.