Bottom
It’s not when you start wondering
if there’s any room to sink
further from the light;
it’s when you finally decide
to climb the well’s wall—
knowing you might die.
Posted Mar 22, 2022, 3:41 PM UTC · edited
8314
Very simple but existential. This one shouts a clear message: Take risks! Don't overthink everything. Because living in your head and IF as a guide is a fate far worse from death.
Addressing the hardest of all times when you feel lonely when there isn't any more room to "sink" I love the picture you painted in my head. It's not about how often you get hit, simply speaking, but how do you plan on taking a hit next time. So your life and emotions aren't thrown around like a ball but rather you take control.
Thank you very much for sharing this.
3
Bold words, beautifully written.
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Nice work there! It's got a lot of depth. The dilemma of heart or mind, mind or mind, heart or heart is never meant to be easy yet you got to choose to stay in or get out. Your reference is apt. I like the way you ended it with an unpredictable outcome 'knowing you might die'.
3
WOW!!! so much said in such few words.I feel what you are feeling in this poem. I picture myself when I have sunken down and couldn't climb the wall back up.
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Hey! This is the first poem I'm looking at after about 2 months of inactivity due to the infamous writer's block. My response may not be the best, as I'm still trying to get back in to the groove of things, but i'll still be here to admire :) Short and sweet. I like how straight to the point it is, not much sugar-coating or over detailing (something I personally struggle with from time to time). Honestly, not entirely sure what to say other than that I did like it. Thank you for sharing and good job!
3
I enjoy this a lot, I think the simplicity really helps it hone in on an emotion - feels very focused! I like the well metaphor too. My only point of critique would be that the "to climb the well's wall" line could be tweaked slightly, to something that flows slightly better - though it might just be personal preference that the wording of "well's wall" distracts me a bit. Great work all the same!
2
I love this piece, it was too short for such a strong delivery , but you used every inch of the runway before you took off......nicely done!
2
I love the simplicity, it’s very much my style. You managed to elicit such vividly specific images with such a concise amount of words…excellent job!
2
So much said in so little. Poems like this speak so much more than detailed narratives to me.
2
Simplistic, broad, and yet somehow pinpoint. I’m in treatment and love this.
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this was a pleasure to read. i liked the briefness, you got right to the point. i had a clear image in my mind and you displayed a message beautifully. what matters is that you climb right back up despite getting fucked over, knowing that you’ve been hurt enough not to try and take the risk to pull yourself out. beautiful, great job!
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Very short but very powerful, I like this a lot. Paints a vivid picture of rock bottom and cautions well against living by fear of potential outcomes
2
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1
hey tim. i like this poem. it's shorter than most of yours but packs a punch and carries a strong message.
the poem centers around what it means to be at rock bottom. it challenges the perception of it meaning being afraid of things getting even worse i.e. "sinking further from the light". and instead, it suggests that once you've hit rock bottom, you will try to improve your situation or "climb the well's wall", despite knowing that you might fail. i take this to mean how if you've got nothing left to loose, you might as well try.
i really dig the well metaphor and i think it got your point across to a T. the ending: "knowing you might die" also emphasised the desperate mindset someone might have whilst trying to get out of a dark place.