I will present my newborn goddaughter with two choices. I need epic dialogue for when she makes her decision.

DUSTIN STOP READING THIS IF YOU SOMEHOW FOUND THIS.

My DM has been running our campaign for roughly three years now. I found his game on craigslist when that was still a thing, and three years later he has named me the only godparent of his newborn daughter. I have ordered a toy wand and a toy sword to present to her at the same time to see what she chooses. I'm looking for some suggestions on dialogue for this choosing ceremony to make this as dramatic and silly as possible, and I'm hoping the awesome D&D reddit community can provide. Hit me with all your ideas!