Ig I was expecting more???

22 M generally straight, so this might be a long story but I’ll make sure to do a tldr at the end

buuuuutttt (hehe butt)

my “innocence” was gone early in my life (idk when I started having thoughts or why but I’ve just always had sexual thoughts) I basically went my entire life not understanding why I had these emotions and, for the longest time I had thought that it was like Sin that was a corruption in my brain or whatever, but that’s probably due to living in a catholic household and then going to a catholic middle… and then a Protestant high school (and then a Christian college so ig I always thought that it was wrong to have these feelings?) Anyways, I developed a porn addiction in middle school and it has only gotten stronger/worse, but throughout high school and college ( the time where society says that I’m supposed to be getting laid) I never got the courage it even tell anyone that I actually had feelings for them, romantic or intimate. So after a few years of feeling this and seeing people get into relationships I basically convinced myself that I couldn’t get into a relationship because I was a virgin and that I was going to stay emotionally stunted unless I had sex (Dumb Ik). But it was in January of this year (a couple weeks after my 22nd bday) that I had sex for the first time, and it wasn’t with anyone I knew personally I had just met some chick off a hookup app and went to her place and fucked. And I didn’t underperform or anything, if anything I used all the time spent watching porn and put it to use. Like the way I see it; imagine if you watched a bunch of Kung fu or martial arts movies, got into a fight with several people, and actually managed to Jackie Chan/Chuck Norris them. But leading up to it I was kinda expecting some big change to come out of it or like feel something new/different but I didn’t even orgasm… don’t get me wrong it was fun but I felt like it was more about proving something rather than experiencing something??? Idk, I’m kinda just typing what comes to mind rn, like a diary… except the diary can talk back to you. Idek if this is the right subreddit to post this on but I just want to know, why don’t I feel what I’m supposed to feel?

Tldr: Lost my virginity at 22 and thought there would be some big change… but there wasn’t and idk why. Help?

(P.S. sorry for bad grammar)