Essay

Hello, QuestBridge friends, I am making a return for the completion of my application. I have just finished my personal essay and I would truly appreciate if anybody could provide me any feedback/suggestions. I want to make the best of this before I even think of submitting, and I am open to any forms of criticism. Please send me a private message if possible. I want to thank everybody in advance for I cannot see myself proceeding without at least something to improve. :)