Source
r/TrueOffMyChest•
vactu

Struggling to not drink

This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've been sober for almost 2yrs and tonight is the first time since that I feel I can't hold on. Can't keep it together. I'm cycling between tears and pure numb apathy. I just want to go to the cstore and buy my favorite beer and collapse on my couch and drown. I want that sweet numb feeling to sweep over me and hold me tight and just give up. I want everything to just stop.

I am barely holding on at times lately and just count the few things that are currently holding me together. I have a wife and kids, part of why I decided to get sober, and I love them. But they aren't what's helping. I just want to stop. I want everything to stop. Just. Stop. And a drink...that sounds like a great stop.

I can't lose my grip and I won't. But sometimes it's so fucking hard.

Posted Mar 24, 2022, 1:44 AM UTC

89
ZayreBlairdere•

You gotta find a thing that fills that gap. At first, you'll have to force it, and the first thing you pick may not be the thing, and that is okay. Tonight, just draw or write out what you are feeling. It has to be an active thing, not like watching TV, or even reading. Woodwork, something that isn't drinking. Then, tomorrow, look for help. You may not need the help forever, but you will for now, and that is okay. You got this.

2
vactuOP•

Writing sounds like an excellent idea, thanks. And I will, get help. Don't know exactly where to go, but yeah. I'll try.

2
ZayreBlairdere•

Message me if it helps. I'm no expert, but I struggle with the drinking as well.

3
StrongHousing1959•

I really feel you. I was an alcoholic for about 6 years, with periods of sobriety in between. I recently relapsed pretty bad. I'm rooting for you and here if you need to talk. To Thine own self be true. Proud of you for two years sober, can't wait to get there myself.

2
vactuOP•

This is the longest I've ever gone with being sober. I hope you keep it up too mate. Fuck this is hard

2
StrongHousing1959•

It definitely is. I ended up in the hospital after my relapse (I drank again and od'd on drugs) and man I'm so disappointed in myself. Reading your post gave me hope that I can get sober and stay sober. If you ever need to vent I'm always here

2
StrongHousing1959•

It definitely is. I ended up in the hospital after my relapse and man I'm so disappointed in myself. Reading your post gave me hope that I can get sober and stay sober.

2
whyamidoingthis37•

My favorite motto is "ill do ------tomorrow"

Don't drink today, put it off until tomorrow then tomorrow comes and again don't drink today, put it off until tomorrow.

One day at a time is how to get sober. And that period of 18 months to 2 years is the hardest part in recovery. Stay strong, you can do it!

2
Warm-Understanding44•

Read something,find something to take your mind off of it,been sober 22 years,I was a total drunk most of my life,get a grip,just find something to preoccupie your mind.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

1