Source
r/OCPoetry•
FL0AT1N

To be Natural

Poem

They forgot what it's like to be natural

imprinting their permanence on the infant

this little black hole of infinite wisdom

as if it swallowed up universes

yet it can't be without them -

body shaped with soft clay.

​

I forgot what it's like to be natural

tapped into a finite repeating algorithm

another wave on the shore

iteration upon integration

generations birthing, dying,

decaying; making way for more.

​

prophecies for ten bucks a tab -

I control the rain in my box;

mimic the water draining

spiraling, always

spinning

falling

until it takes me back

to floating

in nothingness.

​

​

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/tyejey/haibun_4622_how_we_shine/i3secm5/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/tyh2k8/gloom/i3sf92s/?context=3

Posted Apr 7, 2022, 5:50 PM UTC · edited

57
money_made_noodles•

I really like the emotion conveyed throughout this poem. The words 'finite repeating algorithm' seem slightly jarring, perhaps adding to the poem, or maybe creating some confusion.

2
PucWalker•

This is wonderful, and I feel connected to a similar inspiration.

2
SubstantialHurry2660•

I really like this piece. It has good imagery!! I am a little confused when you said ‘the rain in my box’ it’s a little unclear but everything else in this piece is truly relatable and appreciated. Good job.

2
theremystics•

This is really good.

Not trying too hard. Very much a flow with a good contrast. Love the algorithm piece and prophesies for 10 bucks a tab. I firmly believe we live in a matrix (dark af) and this seems channeled in some way, which is why it has a good meter to it. It fits? Idk if that makes sense tho.

2
Captain_Parsley•

This is cool, it makes me think of the current debate regarding the giving to minors hormones before the age of 16 and the whole gender debate. Its a subject I'm interested in currently so nice to feel it in a poem. What was your inspiration?

2
FL0AT1NOP•

My inspiration was reflecting on life and raising kids as I think about possibly having one soon.

2
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