How to find a good job?
[deleted]
Posted Apr 24, 2022, 6:13 PM UTC
83
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).
If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.
If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
Loved it.
1
You start a rhyme scheme here that goes through the first three lines and then leaves for three lines and then returns with "champagne". I feel it would flow better if the rhyme scheme were maintained or let go.
You develop a little rhythm here with two stressed syllables in two lines next to each other. I like it but know that you are emphasizing these lines.
You start another two line rhyme scheme here. But then the next two lines lose it again which again hurts the flow in my opinion.
Most of the poem is about creating art. Besides the title and the last line it didn't read like a plea for a job but that could just be me.
Thanks for sharing.