A sonnet for a shower
Pure heaven is my shower nice and hot.
Its vapors cleanse the grime within my lungs.
Celestial 'cause my nose is full of snot
with body aches that make me feel like dung.
An hour I could savor its sweet sound,
the pitter patter playing musically.
My cloudy thoughts are nothing so profound
as I begin to feel I have to pee.
O shower, will your goodness linger still
when finally I'm forced to leave your stream?
Your glorious heat has gone against my will
and all that's really left of you is steam.
Perhaps another in the afternoon?
So worry not for I will see you soon.
Posted Apr 25, 2022, 4:40 PM UTC
45
Lord knows a hot shower hits different when you're sick! This poem gave me a good chuckle; the setup and punchlines are great without sacrificing the flow of lines.
Admittedly, I've not much experience writing sonnets, but slightly more commas could make the cadence of certain lines more clear. For example:
"Pure heaven is my shower, nice and hot.
Its vapors cleanse the grime within my lungs.
Celestial, 'cause my lungs are filled with snot"
To be fair, this is a v e r y tiny nitpick for clarity's sake. The lines actually flow well enough for most people to be able to pick up on small pauses and for that punctuation to not be necessary.