I think this read more like a speech than perhaps a poem. There’s no rhythm, or other aspects you might see in a poem like imagery or rhyme. I suppose there’s repetition in starting some lines with the word hero. There’s passion in it, but little poeticness in its presentation. The random capitalisation is a little off putting. 

Poems often use language to tells stories, elicit emotion in the reader, create a moment. But speeches are more like making an argument and convincing, which is what I feel like the purpose of this writing is. 

It seems like there’s things in here you could pull out to focus on for a poem - but working on specificity and moments. I could see an opportunity to juxtapose two concepts of heroism as an idea. Or maybe it’s something satirical - an epic heroic poem of someone who is not a hero. Another perspective is your personal experiences of anger in viewing the world. 

Id recommend taking a look at the subs wiki. I found it super helpful 😊


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I liked the beginning, but tbh, at the end it just felt kinda propagandistic, politically motivated, idk if that is what you are trying to achieve though. Its the specifics that give this impression - healthcare/clean earth/jobs/ukraine allusion.

I personally like the title. It's simple yet tells a lot about the story going on here. The one part I noticed was "they bleed red through interconnected veins". Changing it to 'bleeding' instead of 'they bleed' would connect and similarize that line to the others more.

Just for visual satisfaction, you could shorten the lines of the "heroes don't/do" section, taking away some words that aren't needed. If you're trying for repetition, you definitely have it. However it could be difficult for others to read.

Ex. 

'Heroes don’t profit off death and misery  
they don't make a spectacle of hatred'

BE