[3015] Unnamed Chapter 1
Hi all!
This is the first chapter of a fantasy novel that I'm conceiving. It's a Darkish Progressive Fantasy. It's a genre I really enjoy to write about even if it's not popular or original.
There's no tittle yet since I changed my mind twenty times in the last month.
The temporary premise (Don't take the time to criticize it, I just wrote it for this post):
What can be done when nobles rule the world and oppress anyone who tries to grow stronger? When fortune equals power, where does this place the orphans of war? At the bottom of the food chain, starving. One of them will receive a blessing, a bet that could pay off, or lead to his death. Conan will have to fight against all the odds to survive and learn to manipulate the aether.
( There's a lot of explicit violence.)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LYgT2xYu8Hk7VCjM4SfjqWFuw6CZygEIDfoLqH7br34/edit?usp=sharing
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read, comment, or critique.
I'm looking for feedback on any aspect. If you lack inspiration those are questions I would appreciate feedback on ( It would be best if you look at them at the end of your first read)
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!Where would you have stop as a reader?!<
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!Could you easily guess that I'm a non-native English speaker? What gave it away?!<
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!Did you think the pace was too fast?!<
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!Was the setting lacking since the place changed a lot?!<
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!Was there enough worldbuilding for your taste ?!<
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!Was there too much info dumping?!<
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!What did you think of the third close POV? And the switch of POV?!<
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!My prose isn't sophisticated for sure. But did you find it weak? Too weak to be readable?!<
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!What was the biggest flaw?!<
Those are my critics.
Posted Apr 27, 2022, 3:48 AM UTC · edited