Every day, I wonder if I don’t belong here

I’ve made several posts here already, and deleted some of them. But the gist is: I really just don’t know if I should even be here. I’ve been working my first full-time news job for 2 months now. Seems I made an error when I didn’t double check something I was told by law enforcement, even though I had a clue that it was wrong.

I just feel overwhelmed. I got no training in this job, even though I’m covering cops and courts regularly for the first time in my career. My editors are out of reach since we’re all working from home. I know, without a doubt, that I’m the worst reporter at the paper. It takes me longer to turn in shorter stories. I dread every day, wondering what I’m going to fuck up or have the potential to fuck up.

It’s so frustrating because I want to do a good job; I want to stand out and make a name for myself. But I just don’t know that I’m cut out for it, for the first time ever. I’ve been reporting for local news outlets since I was in high school, and I’m just not having fun at all this time around. I feel like dogshit most of the time.