Diary 1: Can’t go back to therapy so I guess I’ll just post about my problems here

Hi random strangers reading my diary. Although I’d like to go back to therapy I feel I can not. I’m currently to busy with my life to go back, so much is going on that I genuinely can’t go back. It makes me mad, I don’t even think I can go to therapy because of cost. I’m not sure if I’m under insurance anymore because I’ve turned 18. I might just need to apply for it because I’m still living with my mom who lives on disability. Or at least that’s what we tell them, I mainly stay over at my dads in reality but they don’t need to know that.

Why is there so much going on you may ask? Because I’m graduating, my mind is going crazy. I have so much to do, that I need to do, or things won’t work out how I want. Sure I know they don’t always and that’s fine, I’m okay with that. But I still need to get my license, practice driving, etc. If I don’t, I can’t move out like I want, I need to drive to live in a different place. If I can’t get my own place I won’t get the experience of living without my parents like I need too. If I don’t have a car, I will also miss out on traveling like I want too.

On top of this, in current dealing with school, which is more of drama and doing graduation stuff. It’s not horrible but one of my best friends is living with me and ugh it wasn’t agree idea especially when we have to spend so much time together. Like sure its nice not being alone but this much hanging out isn’t that healthy for either of us. I’m probably burning out socially as well because of this. I spend so much time with so many people and I get socially exhausted usually really quickly. Plus I’m going to a new job where socializing is very important. Not that I haven’t done a lot of these jobs, but it’s more socializing on top of socializing. I’m going to have to cut out something. Soon school won’t be a problem at least.

Speaking of, it’s insane how fast this year has been, it’s been a crazy one though. It’s hard to believe this is it. And the worst thing is, is I know what’s next. What’s next is the part of my life where I get to go work and work and work and constantly struggle to free myself of poverty. Like everyone else close to my age, born in poverty, and other various things. The world is slowly starting to collapse into its self, some places more then others. The US isn’t the fastest to collapse, but it isn’t the slowest either.

This concludes my diary. I’d like to say I am very happy though, I feel accomplished in myself, I’d like to think I’m better off then I could be. To even be privileged enough to move out is a big accomplished, let alone make it this far in so many different ways.